lack of sleep and an unexpected saviour
by I Dream In Color
Summary: For the outside world, Clary and Jace seem perfectly normal teenagers. Little do they know what really plays after those façades they have build around themselves over the years. When Clary and Jace meet, they feel themselves drawn to each other, but they are obstructed by the secrets of themselves and the other. Can they open up to each other or will the secrets be their doom?
1. A nightly conversation

Clary wandered through the dark hallways of the old house while she was listening to the peaceful silence. The last nights, she had serious problems with getting some rest… It took hours before she finally fell asleep, and if she did she was haunted by horrendous nightmares. The lack of sleep had only made her more and more tensed which made it even harder to get some rest and she started to believe that she would never sleep again. She let herself slide down against a wall, while she sighted deep. She felt like the lack of sleep made her go crazy and she seriously needed something to calm her down. She looked through the window across the corridor, hoping that the sight of the stars would calm her down as they usual did. But even those shimmering celestial bodies couldn't make her relax. She closed her eyes and pounded a few times lightly against the wall with her head, as if she could end the whirlwind of thoughts in her head like that.

Suddenly she heard a soft crack and she quickly opened her eyes. A bit disoriented she looked around her. As her vision focused and the blur faded, she saw the source of her interruption. Relieved, she blew out the breath she had been holding unconsciously. She looked at the guy who was walking in her direction. He held a glass of water in his hand and sauntered calmly trough the hallway but she could see that his memories were somewhere far away. The dim light of the stars lighted the hallways slightly and gave his golden curls an almost silver shine. She love the way he looked so… carelessly. It made him look younger and more … human, not as unattainable as he was most of the times. He was pretty close to her now and she quickly pulled back her legs, scared that he wouldn't notice them and would stumble on them.

Somehow this soft sound made him awake from his deep thoughts and he let out a little shout when he saw her sitting on the ground so close to her. Her recovered quickly of the surprise and looked clearly irritated. "Goddamnit Clary! What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night? I nearly had a heart attack!" He shouted after which he looked at his t-shirt with a cantankerous look. He had spilled a big amount of his glass over his grey t-shirt which stuck wet against his body. "I'm… I'm so… so sorry" I stuttered. "I di …. I didn't mean to…" my voice faltered and the end of my sentence was more a whispering against myself than a real answer. Something I did must have drawn his attention, because for the first time this evening he stared right into my eyes. And I don't know what exactly he saw right there, but it softened his look and he kneeled down right in front of me. "Clary? What's wrong? Did something happen to you?" He seemed worried and … protective and his eyes, those beautiful golden eyes that were staring so intensely at me, where full of emotions I couldn't read. Only then I sensed that my eyes were full of tears and that I was about to start crying. I took a deep breath and pushed away my feelings as I stood up. "I'm ok", I said silently after I had turned away my gaze, afraid that I was going to tell him everything when I kept looking into those gorgeous, honest eyes of him.

I didn't want to bother him with my problems, so I tried to step around him, but he took my arm and turned me around so I needed to face him again. "I don't believe you" he said, still worried. "Look me in the eyes, and tell me you're fine. Only then I'll believe you Clary." He said. I looked him in the eyes: "I… I'm …" I looked away and sighted while I looked at my feet. "I knew it… Clary, you can tell me everything, you know that right?" he said, his voice full of emotion. I wasn't able to respond properly, too shocked by his sudden involvement. He always seemed so unattached and uninterested when he talked to me . All of a sudden he pulled me closer and before I had fully realized it, he was hugging me gently. At first I froze, unused to this kind of physical contact between us, but quickly I melted away in his arms, calmed down by his steady heartbeat.

After a minute or so I broke the silence: "Euhm Jace, I euhm, I don't want to spoil the moment or so, but your t-shirt is really wet you know…" I mentioned while I looked meaningfully at my own shirt that was now wet too. While I said it, I got taken aback by the slight joy in my voice. I couldn't believe that I only needed one hug of him to help me calm down?! His influence on me was just so massive and I didn't want to admit it to myself. He laughed huskily while he let me go and I shivered, not knowing whether it was the cold that hung in the hallways or what just happened that caused it. "Your cold", he stated while grappling my hand, and I could hear a sliver of concern in his voice. "Come on, redhead, I know a place where you will warm up quickly", he said while he dragged me through the corridors. "Where are you taking me?" I asked curious, but with a slight giggle I couldn't suppress. The only response I got was a cheeky and waggishly grin that made my knees tremble.


	2. Fire and heat

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters of this story, only the plot!**

We softly ran through the corridors in a comfortable silence, trying not to wake someone else. I had no idea where we were going because my orientation system, generally already horrendous, clearly had no night mode. After a few minute Jace lowered his tempo a bit, only to stop abruptly on the corner of the hallway. Of course Clumsy Clary hadn't foreseen this, so I reacted too late, causing my body to bump into his. "Whoa, Clary. Calm down!" He said with a smile. "I know my body is unspeakably sexy, but that doesn't mean you may constantly touch it."He grinned and I couldn't help but blush while I took a step backwards. All the time his hand hadn't let go of mine, but now he loosened his grip, though a bit reluctantly. "That was not my intention! I just…" I made a weak attempt to defend myself but he interrupted me by laying his hands on my eyes as he went to stand behind me. "I was just joking Clary…" he said laughingly after which he came closer to me. I could feel his warm breath against my neck and his chest against my back as he leaned forward and brought his mouth near my left ear. He whispered cheeky: "you may touch my body whenever you want…" I couldn't suppress the shiver that went down my spine as a reaction on those words. I hated my body for betraying my feelings so explicitly and somehow I knew he had seen my reaction, even though the place was only badly illuminated. This made me feel even more embarrassed than I already was…

I tried to distract myself from the fact that he stood still very close to me by asking him why he was covering my eyes. "I want to surprise you", he said honestly, and I nodded my head to shake of all the emotions that popped my head because of those words. "Well than you can better finally show me your "big surprise" before I die of curiosity!" I said playfully. "That would be a shame indeed!" he grinned. "Come on" he said as he leaded my body around the corner to stop a few meters further. "Ready?" he asked, his hands still on my face. "Yes! Stop with your time stretching! You are killing me!" I said teasingly, though not able to hide a sliver of nervousness. "I would never do that!" he said fake outraged while he took his hand of my face. I gasped when I saw where he had leaded me to and I turned around searching his eyes with mine. Our eyes hooked into each other and I saw the determined though somewhat uncertain look in his eyes. "Are you sure?" I asked softly, while I searched for confirmation on his face. He nodded while he took my left hand, his other hand resting on the door hand. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life" he stated soulful as he swung down the door handle and opened the door.

_In the five weeks I had spended in the house of the Lightwoods, Jace's room had been… off-limits. On my first day, Izzy had taken on the task to guide me around the house. Firstly, she had shown me the most commonly used rooms, such as de library, the kitchen, the dining room and so on… But afterwards she had turned to the floor where the bedrooms were situated. Before we went to the room that would be mine, she showed where I could find her room and Alec's, in case I needed something. After that little interruption, she headed for my new room, super enthusiast to show it because she had decorated the room herself. As expected, the room was perfect. One wall was painted in a beautiful bright red and the other ones had a deep chocolate-brown shade that perfectly matched the dark wooden floor. The furniture was white and elegant, and a beautiful, graceful manufactured canopy bed dominated the room. It was beautiful and breathtaking, but I wasn't really paying attention. And naturally Izzy noticed it…_

_She assured me that we could always redecorate it if I didn't like it, and on that moment I captured a sparkle of the insecurity she always tried to hide from the outside world. I reassured her that it was magnificent and that I totally loved it -which I did! - but I couldn't help but notice that she hadn't mentioned where Jace's room was. As a reaction on my question, Izzy sighted while she plumped onto the bed. I still remember the exact words she said… "I knew you would notice" she had said with a sad smile, "you're a clever one…" I had been sitting next to her and now she laid her hands on my knee. "I didn't show you his room because it is… unlikely you will ever enter it Clary. Jace is… he…" She had searched for words… "Let us say that it is quite an understatement that his privacy is very important to him. It took us years before he allowed us to enter his room. Even now, Alec and I have only been there for a few times… I give you one advice Clary, as a friend. Never enter Jace's room without his permission… Never ever! Promise me!" I nodded confused and promised I wouldn't. Somehow this made my interest in Jace only grow… I mean, he was so intriguing and inscrutable! It felt like he was some sort of puzzle that needed to be solved. And as the weeks proceeded, I noticed that the urge to be the person who did that, grew stronger and stronger…_

The first thing I saw after Jace had opened the door to his room, was a burning fireplace on the right side of the room. It sent an inviting warmth of, and suddenly it struck me that I was really cold. However, I resisted the urge to run towards the burning flames to heat my body, because I didn't wanted to be pushy or rude to Jace. He probably had noticed my inner doubt, because he let my hand go and pushed me gently inside the room, his hand now lightly rested on my lower back… I heard him close the door silently behind my back as I headed to the fireplace. I felt the heat percolating my body and I felt my limbs relax a bit as the warmth loosened up my muscles. I turned around and looked at the room, my back turned to the fire. The only light came from the flames behind me, because Jace hadn't turned on the light, so I couldn't discern a lot, but I still tried to absorb everything. Close to my right there was a bay window, but he had closed the curtains so I couldn't see what kind of view the window offered. The same thick, heavy-looking curtains of the other window in the right wall were closed too, but due to the size of the room it didn't make the room oppressive. On the contrary! It gave the room a warm and cozy sphere, something I missed a bit in a lot of the other rooms of the house which had a more modern, sleek design. My eyes wandered further trough the bedroom… a writing desk that stood against the left wall with in addition a huge bookcase that bulged with books, another door in the same wall as the one where I had come through and… a huge bed, situated against the wall right in front of me. And with huge, I mean literally gigantic! It occupied a big part of the room yet it fitted perfectly into the style of the room. The sheets of the bed were impeccably, like no one had ever slept in it before and I couldn't help but come closer and touch the beautiful woodcarving on the side of the bed. "Really Clary?" said an amused voice from behind me. "Immediately heading to the bed? I never thought you where that kind of girl!" Jace said teasingly. "Not that I mind though" he winked. I turned around, slightly startled. I had forgotten Jace completely, entirely preoccupied by the fact that I could finally discover something personal about him.

On first sight, it looked like he was just casually leaning against the door, but I could see how tensed his body was underneath. The muscles on his arms were strained and he breathed faster than he normally did. I knew this had to be difficult for him, and even though I didn't knew why this was such a big deal for him, I was so… proud of him. At least he tried to resolve his problem, and didn't deny it all the time… I shook my head lightly to shake of the thoughts that crept into my mind. This was nor the time, nor the place to think about those things… I stepped closer to him, not sure whether or not he wanted it. I looked into his eyes and it felt like I could look down into the very depths of his soul. And I saw exactly those things that I felt deep inside, but that I had tried to deny to myself: loneliness, doubts and a strong desire to be held by someone who just said it would all be ok, even if it wouldn't…

Before I let myself the chance to think about it –because I knew that I would make up thousand excuses to hold back- I quickly stepped up to him and hugged him for the second time this night. I could tell that he hadn't expected that action because he inhaled surprised before he putted his arms around me. My head leaned against his chest and my arms, wrapped around his back, pulled him close to me. His muscular arms did the same with my body and I could hear how he breathed out slowly. "Thank you" I said soft, "Thank you for showing me this." He laid his head on mine and I felt the vibrations of his voice trough his chest as he spoke. "No Clar, thank you. For everything" he said while he rubbed my back slowly. "I haven't done anything" I mumbled against his chest, taken aback by the gratitude that laid in his voice. He laughed warmly: "Is it so hard for you to just accept it and say "You're welcome"?" I smiled… "You're welcome" I whispered. He just hugged me a little more tightly and I closed my eyes. The sound of his beating heart in combination with his delicious scent that was so 100% Jace, made me relax entirely for the first time in a really long time…

**Let me know what you think of the story please! I would be a huge help, because I'm not sure whether or not it is going in the good direction :s xxx N.**


	3. Shopping as a medicine

Slowly I woke up, awakened by clear sunlight that shone on my face. I must have forgotten to close the curtains, I thought to myself, while the drowsiness slowly left my brains. However I refused to open my eyes to confirm my assumption. The sunrays were caressing my eyelids and I just wanted to imprint the feeling of the heat that gently touched my shoulders and my face. I buried myself in the amazing red golden shine that reached my eyes trough my eyelids and just enjoyed the moment. It felt ages ago that I had been so… rested, and I wanted to hold the feeling as long as I could. I smiled as I thought about the reason of my proper rest: my golden boy...

_After a long time, Jace had ended our cuddle with a deep sigh. "We should get some rest, shouldn't we?" he had said with a regretful smile. "Jeah, we should" I had answered unwillingly. I took a step back. "So, uhm I'll see you tomorrow, right?" I added while I headed for the door. I wanted to hide my fear so I just tried to act as normal as possible as I turned around. I was terribly afraid that the tension would slowly creep back into my body as soon as I had left him, but I didn't want to bother him with my problems. "Hey, not so fast Red" he had said with a smile while grabbing two pulls out of his walk-in closet. He had thrown the grey one at me and had put on the red one himself before heading to the door. All the time I hadn't moved a finger, confused about the situation. "Where are you going Jace?" I had said puzzled. His grin became even bigger while he said: "I'm going to walk you to your room, little idiot!" I melted but didn't wanted to show it. "Jace, you don't have to escort me!" It's really sweet, but I'm old enough to…" "I know" he had interrupted me while he grabbed my hand and walked out of his room, "but just let me do this for you, will you?" He looked half serious, half amused at me."Fine!" I said, as if I made a huge sacrifice for him. Little did he know that he had just saved me from my monsters that were lurking from the dark. He sent me his dazzling smile and I looked away, afraid that I would lose my senses if I kept looking in those gorgeous eyes. I remembered that I still had his hoodie in my hands, and I put in on gratefully because it had only become colder in the hallways of the house. When we arrived at my door, he had given me a short hug after I had returned his pull."Night, Red" he had said as he wandered off, the hoodie laid over his shoulder. "Goodnight Jace" I had whispered back, but he was already too far to hear me…_

All of a sudden my stomach rumbled loudly, demanding me to go downstairs and grab some food. I threw the sheets of myself and stood up while I glanced at my clock radio. Half past ten?! Wow, so weird, I had been asleep for more than 7 hours?! No wonder that I felt so rested! The last nights I had never slept more than 5 hours or so… I started humming a tune while I grabbed my favorite jeans and a black top with a brown-white crocheted sweater on top of it. I combed my hair swiftly with my right hand while I brushed my teeth with my other hand, before I headed downstairs. Since I had woken up, I had thought of nothing else but Jace… I didn't knew what last night would have changed, but I knew I was both eager and nervous to find out. I entered the kitchen and was greeted by Alec who stared still half asleep to his slice of bread. I was used to him being quite shy and introvert, but this was... a different sort of silence. One I recognized only too well from back home... I focused back on Alec, putting my other thoughts aside. "Looks like someone had a rough night", I said amused. He looked up and I saw a sliver of shame in his deep blue eyes. "You have no idea" he said regretfully before he stared back to his food. I understood that he didn't wanted to talk about it, so I silently took some cornflakes. I wondered what had happened with Alec… He always stated that he didn't liked going out, and now he was sitting here with a serious hangover… Even though I felt sorry for him, I couldn't help but smile a bit as I tried to imagine Alec drunk…

I had just taken a seat when Jace walked into the kitchen. He didn't say anything while he walked at the fridge and looked into it. I couldn't help but stare at him: his hair was mixed-up, as if he had just come out of his bed –a very likely possibility- and his black shirt accentuated his muscled torso strongly. God, there had to be at least one time that he didn't look like a freaking model?! He took some yoghurt and a spoon and walked out of the kitchen, without looking at me once. I was astonished and perplexed: Crap! What did thát mean?! I had assumed that last night would have changed things, but I had thought that things would get better, not worse?! I could only conclude one thing: he clearly regretted that he had opened up to me this night... I sighted deep and stirred slowly through my corn flakes: my appetite was completely gone.

"Clary!" someone shouted excited from behind my back before I got into a short hug. I caught a glimpse of raven black hair and I smiled as I turned around. "Hey Izzy" I smiled, happy to think about something else than Jace. She wore a tight black jeans and a black and white t-shirt with a black leather jacket and some black high heels. She looked so much like she was a famous actress on the cover of some fancy magazine that it was just not fair. Maybe the Lightwoods could start a modeling agency starring their three incredibly attractive children? Success guaranteed... "So, are you ready?!" she asked enthusiast, but I had no idea where she was talking about… She saw the look on my face and sighted: "You forgot it, didn't you?" she said slightly disappointed. "You had promised that we would go shopping, right?" "Oh crap!" I shouted. "I had totally forgotten it Iz! I'm so sorry! I'll be ready in five and then you can drag me to every shop you know! Ok?" I asked a bit insecure. She smiled as she nodded towards me: "You're lucky I'm in a forgiving mood, you little lunatic!"

I gave her a big hug before I raced upstairs. Izzy had become a really good friend in the past few weeks and I had been afraid that she would be really upset about this… We had arranged this day weeks ago: in a few days school would start, and it was a yearly tradition for Isabelle to go and find "the perfect outfit to start a perfect year". Furthermore, I had once mentioned that I really needed to buy some new clothes, after which she had appointed herself as my personal fashion-assistant. I grabbed my phone, my wallet and a little brown purse before I headed back to Izzy who was teasing her brother Alec with his hangover. "Don't torture him like this Isabelle!" I laughed, slightly out of breath of all the running. She opened her mouth to say something but I pushed her friendly out of the kitchen. "Come on", I teased her, "or all the beautiful clothes will be gone!" We both laughed as we headed to the front door. "Have a great day, my sunshine!" Izzy shouted extremely loud towards the open door of the kitchen and we heard Alec curse loudly, which made us laugh even harder. I shut the door behind me while Isabelle was already walking to the car. I strongly hoped that this day would distract me a bit, because the thoughts about Jace that were whirling around in my head, made me go insane. I heard Izzy honking impatiently so I turned around and jumped into the dark blue BMW. We left with screeching tires and Izzy turned on the radio. I leaned against the leather seat, surrounded by loud drums and one of my best friends, determined to have a great day without worries.

* * *

I dropped all the clothing bags in front of my walk-in closet before I hobbled tired to my bed. I let myself fall down on my bed and sighted. It had been a great day with Izzy and I had been able to forget him for a moment, but I was also completely jaded. I had lost count on how many shops I had entered: Izzy seemed indefatigable when it came to shopping so it was already past 7 when we returned home. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and let my painful feet rest a bit, but after that I stood up again. I don't like it when there is clutter in my room, so I started to put away my new clothes in my walk-in closet. You could say a lot of Isabelle, but she sure as hell had a great taste in clothes and I was happy that she had been with me to give me advice about some purchases.

I heard a knock on the door and assumed that it was Izzy who had forgotten something. In the beginning, she always just rushed into my room without giving a sign, but she had learnt her lessons… Once I had been naked because I had just been taking a shower and I hadn't been very … happy about entering my room, so since then she always knocked politely. "Come in Izzy!" I said with a smile while I hung a dress on a clothes hanger. I looked up and was about to say something about her forgetfulness, when I suddenly I forgot everything around myself: the person that came into my room was not the one I had expected, and I completely froze as Jace walked into my room...

* * *

**Hey guys! I really want to write further but I'm doubting… should I take a Jace-POV or should it be all Clary's POV? In my opinion both have pro's and con's so I wanted to think which option you preferred! :) And what would you think if I let Jace be the one with drawing skills and I made Clary the musician? I think it would show their story in another angle than the usual :) **

**Please review and tell me what you think about it, it would be a massive help and then I will do my best to upload another chapter soon!**


	4. Of beds and post-its

He walked in confidently, as if this was his own bedroom, and not mine… A sarcastic voice in my head stated that this room was more his property as mine, since I only live here temporarily, but I refused to listen. I had grown attached to it, to my bedroom. It was my safe-house in case of breakdowns and freak outs, and I didn't liked it that he made me feel uncomfortable in here. "May I…?" he asked decent while he nodded to my bed. I nodded back. "Jeah, sure." I mumbled while I tried to get rid of my nerves. It was ridiculous! I shouldn't be nervous, I didn't do anything wrong! I sighted internally, not wanting to show him how he affected me so much.

"Nice dress" he said with a relaxed smile. I looked confused at my jeans and raised my eyebrows, not knowing where he was talking about. Only then I noticed the clothes hanger I had been holding firmly. "Ow… jeah… Sure." I muttered sarcastic. "Clary?" he asked, and he waited until I looked into his eyes. "I'm serious, you know. I like it." He smiled cheeky. "Why don't you try it on? Bet you look really sexy in it." He winked and I shook my head in disbelief: did he only come here to fool around? I turned around firmly and hang the dress in my closet. "I guess that means no?" he laughed, after which he let himself fall back onto the bed. He was stretched out and looked completely at easy. I couldn't help but notice that I could see a glimpse of his boxer short and his flat, muscular abdomen, and a cold shiver ran down my spine and continued to whirl around in my stomach. "Why don't you sit down by me?" he asked with a glare in his eyes. "You know, I don't think that is a good idea" I replied honestly as I sat down on my desk chair. "Why not?" he asked while he sat up straight again. He had pulled up his legs and his arms were loosely around them. He stared at me with an intense look in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but then I heard anther knock on my door. We both looked surprised at it; as if the sound had made us escape from the bubble we always seemed to be in when we were together.

"Clary? Can I come in?" I heard Izzy ask favorable. I looked at Jace in panic… "May she know you're here?" I asked him in a whisper. "Euhm… No better not... She would…" He shook his head slowly. "Then hide!" I urged him. "Hide in the bathroom or so!" "No not in the bathroom! Izzy spends way too much time in bathrooms!" "Clary? Are you there? Can I come in?" Izzy asked again and I looked at Jace. "Just a second Iz!" I yelled back at her. I turned back to Jace. "Then there is no other possibility" I whispered, and I couldn't help but grin as I proceeded: "You will need to hide under my bed!" He looked at me, his eyes wide open. He opened his mouth to protest but as he saw my look he shut his mouth and started to crawl under the bed. I stepped to the door and took a deep breath.

"Cla…" Izzy had just started again, before I interrupted her by opening the door. "Yes Izzy? Is there a fire somewhere?" I asked laughingly as she entered. "No fire, just me!" she said while walking into my room. "But if I may say, equally hot, you know!" she laughed as she let herself fall down on my bed, right on the spot where Jace had laid a few seconds ago. "Well, I must say girl, it took ages for you to open that door! What where you doing in here?" she asked curious. "Oh I was just … in the bathroom… I uhm I tried on that dress another time." I invented quickly. "Oh Clary! Still doubting?! You shouldn't be so insecure, girl. I promise you that you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress! No guy will be able to resist you in that dress!" I was relieved that she believed my little lie, but I blushed as I thought of Jace who was laying under my bed and hearing all this stuff. "Thanks Iz… I will keep in mind" I smiled. She stood up and gave me a hug.

"But honestly, why did you need me so urgently?" I asked to deviate from the subject. "I mean, you don't try to ram my door for fun, do you? I asked fake angry. "Well…" she started enthusiast as she started walking around the room and sway with her arms. A business partner of my mum is organizing an exclusive party and mum and dad just got an invitation! Cool, huh!" "Well, that's… nice for them?" I said hesitantly, not knowing why Izzy was so excited that her parents went to some party… "That's not all you little idiot! Mum said that he had said that she could take her children to the party too! Awesome isn't it? WE ARE GOING TO THE PARTY OF MAGNUS BANE, ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL MEN OF BROOKLYN!" Izzy was now dancing through the room and I just stared at her. How could she be so incredibly happy about some stupid party? I tried to be as enthusiast as I could: "Well, that's great Izzy! I mean I'm sure you will have a great time! Don't break too many hearts will you?" I smiled as she looked innocent at me. "I would never do that!" she said, but she smiled suggestive. Then she looked serious again: "You said 'you will have a great time'…" "Jeah, indeed" I said, "because Magnus Bane invited the family Lightwood… Not … me" I said as I looked away. "Clar…" Izzy started, but she was interrupted by Maryse who shouted "Dinner is ready!" I thanked God silently for this interruption. Izzy sighted and yelled back "Were coming!" before she turned again to me. "I don't care if you want it or not, but I'll take you to that party! If necessary, I'll drag you there myself!" she said steadfastly before she went to the door. "And now, off we go" she urged me. "I heard that mum was going to make spaghetti..." she clarified, "and if we don't hurry, Jace will eat all of it on his own! You know how crazy he is about it…". She started to step away, assuming I would follow her. "Ow, I'm pretty sure he will not do that…" I said silently after I had thrown a last look at my bed. I closed the door and smiled as I followed Izzy through the corridors.

* * *

As we entered the kitchen, Alec and Maryse already sat around the table. Izzy and I quickly sat down too and I heard my stomach rumble as I smelled the delicious sent of Maryses famous spaghetti. Robert Lightwood, Maryses husband, had called that he would work late so the only one who was still absent was Jace. We had already started eating as Jace walked in a few minutes later, and I tried to concentrate at my dinner. Jace sat across me and I didn't want to look at him, afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold my laughter when I thought again about what had happened. Alec and Izzy were talking about a teacher of school who had been fired for some reason, but I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation. I couldn't help but glare at Jace when he wasn't looking, and I had the feeling he was doing the same when I was looking away… After a while, our gazes finally met, and I was captivated by the naughty sparkle in his eyes. We both smiled and tried not to laugh as we were both thinking of what had happened before. The tension between us filled my stomach with crazy tingles and suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore, at least not for food... After what seemed to be hours, we might finally leave the table. Alec and Jace were going to game on Alec's room and Izzy had planned to go out with some friends, so I decided to go to my room and read a book or so. Izzy had asked if I didn't wanted to go with her, but I knew it had been long ago that she had seen her friends, and I didn't wanted to bother them…

* * *

At my room I walked to my walk-in closet to take a fresh pajama. That was when I noticed the post-it that was pasted on my red dress. It said:

_Really looking forward at seeing you in this dress sometime… _

_Jace_

Below it, he had written a phone number, his phone number I assumed. A huge mile was plastered at my face now as I walked to my desk chair and sat down. I knew I shouldn't be so happy about it… After all it was just a stupid note, he probably didn't meant anything with it… Anyhow, I didn't wanted to ruin the moment for myself. I stored the number in my phone and almost threw the post-it in the paper bin. But then I changed my mind. I walked at my bed and laid the post-it in my nightstand. Izzy was right: I would go to that party, whether I was invited or not. And I knew exactly which dress I was going to wear…


	5. Music as a binder

**So, the song I mention in this chapter is "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys (no rights intended). I hope you take the time to listen to it while you read it, because I think it really gives that little extra to it ;) And besides that, it is just an amazing number! :p This chapter is by the way a Jace POV because I wanted to show what he is thinking and feeling etc…**

I checked my cell phone for the hundredth time and sighed as I looked at the screen: no message. I threw my phone on my bed and dropped onto the floor. I leant with my back against the backside of my bed and closed my eyes. It had been almost 19 hours since I had stuck the post-it on her dress, and she still hadn't sent a text. I shook my head, irritated by myself. How could she influence me so bad? I mean, I had never been so completely… taken by a girl. It felt like I was obsessed with her! Normally I was the guy who received phone numbers, I never gave one! Until now… I laughed without happiness: finally I understood how all of those girls I had never texted back must have felt… I can be such an insensitive douche bag sometimes… Maybe that's why she isn't texting? Jeah… that must be it: she knows she deserves better than me, better than some incredible asshole that can't even handle his own problems. No, she doesn't need someone who gets her in even more trouble… she needs someone who can help her solve hers. Because if there was one thing I knew for sure about her, than it was that she was struggling with something herself. I recognized it in her eyes, in her voice, in her behavior on the moments when she thought no one was paying attention to her. Little did she know that I was always paying attention to her: I seem to be unable to hold my eyes off her… Her flaming red hear, her small elegant posture, her emerald-green eyes… She had enchanted me from the first time I had seen her…

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_The doorbell rang and mum hurried to the front door. I heard her welcome the girl who would be staying with us from now on. Even before I had seen her, I already hated her a little. In theory, the Lightwoods were my adoptive parents, but I had lived with them for such a long time, that I had regarded them as my own parents. They had never given me the feeling that they loved Izzy or Alec more than me, and I loved them with all my heart. They had saved me and I would never be able to repay my depth to them. And I knew that Maryse and Robert just wanted to save this girl too, but I was afraid that they would be so occupied by her that they would… forget me. I know, that may sound stupid, but a heart never thinks rational right? I knew I was jealous of her, even though I would never admit that to anybody. I heard Izzy ran down the hallways and greet the girl enthusiast. I think Izzy was relieved that she would finally have a girl to share her passion for clothes with... I almost felt sorry for that girl: Izzy was unstoppable when it came about fashion and make-up… I heard another pair of footsteps head down the stairs, this time leisurely and softly: Alec. I hoisted myself up reluctantly; knowing that Maryse would be mad if I didn't welcomed the girl properly. _

_Every time I had thought about this girl, I had always imagined her ugly and dorky, but I knew that was just a reflection of my feelings towards her. Well, I can say I couldn't have been more wrong. As I walked into the hall and checked her out, it felt like someone gave me_ _a punch in the stomach. I was completely mesmerized by that girl that stood there a bit lost, surrounded by suitcases and people she had never seen before."Jace, this is Clary. Clary, meet Jace, the greatest slut in history and unfortunately my brother." Izzy said angry. Hmmm, it was pretty clear that she had still not forgiven me the fact that I had slept with a friend of her, or maybe I needed to say: another friend… "Izzy!" Maryse said shocked. Clary grinned softly and I completely loved that sound. "Nice to meet you, Jace" she tried to say serious, but I could hear a sliver of amusement in it. "You too…" I managed to say before Izzy cut me off. "Well, now we have all acquainted cozily, I will give you a turn around the house!" Izzy said, before she took Clary's hand and headed off while she dragged Clary along. "Seems like Izzy found a new friend" Alec said with a smile before he went to his room. Maryse and Robert went to the living room, while Robert said something about how "she seemed a very pleasant addition to the family" while Maryse nodded affirmative. And me, I just stood there, completely overwhelmed and mixed up by this mysterious red-headed beauty._

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I shook my head with a smile as I relived the memory. At first, I kept saying to myself that there could be a slight chance that maybe she had a really annoying character, but again I was completely wrong. I got to know her, and her character was even more beautiful than the outside. I mean, not that she doesn't has bad sides… Hell no: she is stubborn, she doesn't accept help and she always drives me to the limit, but that's just how she is… And I got to admit that these things make me go even crazier about her…

All of a sudden I stood up. I grabbed my phone and I left my room. I tried to think as little as possible, because I knew I would stop myself if I thought about this properly… I hold still as I stood before her room and took a deep breath before I knocked on the door. Nothing happened, so I knocked once again, but again the door stayed closed. That was when I heard it: a soft voice that was… singing. That must be Clary, I thought surprised. She had never said that she could sing like that! Not that I had asked it, but still… I opened the door silently, not able to stop my curiosity even though I knew that I shouldn't be doing this. She sat in front of her bureau, her back turned to me, with a white headphone placed on her wild curls. She was working on her computer while she sang a beautiful song I had never heard before. I leant against the door I had shut quietly, while I listened to the lyrics she sang.

_Are there some aces up your sleeve?_

_Have you no idea that you're in deep?_

_I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week_

_How many secrets can you keep?_

_Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow_

_And I play it on repeat_

_Until I fall asleep_

_Spilling drinks on my settee_

_Do I wanna know?_

_If this feeling flows both ways_

_Sad to see you go_

_Was sorta hoping that you'd stay_

_Baby we both know_

_That the nights were mainly made_

_For saying things that you can't say tomorrow day…_

While she was singing she took off the jacket she had been wearing and turned around while she threw it onto her bed. Only then she noticed me and she let out a scream of surprise. "Jace! What the hell are you doing here?!" she shouted startled while she took off her headphones. "I nearly died!" she added, her eyes wide of surprise. I looked contritely at her. I knew I didn't have any good reason to be here, and she had every reason to be mad at me. "I'm… I'm so sorry Clary! But… It's just… I heard you sing and I just… I wasn't thinking… I…" She sighted subdued. "It's fine Jace, I was just took by surprise." She paused but then she added severe: "But just… just don't enter my room again without my permission, ok?" I nodded serious. By the Angel, I never let anyone else into my room and then I just enter hers? I'm such an idiot.

She made a head movement towards the bed. "Now you're here, have a seat" she smiled, and I knew she had forgiven me. I breathed out, relieved, and let myself fall onto the bed. "So… how long exactly have you been standing here?" she asked nervously. "Long enough to hear that you are an amazing singer" I replied, and she looked away, slightly blushing. "You're exaggerating, like always…" she mumbled. I shook my head slightly, not able to understand why she never wanted to accept a compliment. "What were you singing?" I asked curious. "I didn't recognize the song." She doubted a moment before she took her headphones and her computer and sat next to him on the bed. "Arctic Monkeys" she said as she handed over her headphones. I put them on my head while she started the song. I closed my eyes and focused on the music. The song was… incredible. _I've dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep?_ The lyrics fitted my situation so perfectly that I felt the shivers ran down my spine._ Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? _ I opened my eyes and stared right into her infinite green eyes. _That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day…_ I thought about that night that I had showed her my room and I cleared my throat while I took off the headphones, not sure that I could trust my voice.

"This song is…" I couldn't find a word to describe it. "Magical" she said soft after which she smiled shyly. I nodded, suddenly very aware of the very few space between us. I leant a bit away, though reluctantly, afraid that I would not be able to control myself if I stayed so close. She bit on her lip and it made me go completely insane. "So uhm, you listen to music a lot?" I asked, trying to distract myself from those delicious lips. I could hit myself as I heard myself speaking: what a stupid question was that?! Where were my witty remarks when I needed them most?" Probably shattered around the floor, together with your brains" said a voice in my head, and sadly I couldn't disagree. "Jeah I do." She said. "I don't know what I would do without it. It helps me get through every…" She tried to find the right word. "…situation." She finished. Now she blushed even more and it was just so incredibly cute… "Would you… "I hesitated but I found the courage to continue when I looked into her eyes. "Would you wanna show me some of your favorites?" I asked. A smile lighted up her face, first a bit hesitantly but then in its full glory. "I'd love to." she said while she put the headphones carefully on my head again. She started another song and gave me a big smile. I couldn't help as my lips curled into a huge grin and for a moment, everything was perfect.

**Please let me know what you think about it! Should I continue, change it, …? I'm always open for improvement ;) xxx N.**


	6. Pain and hope

**Sooooo, a knew chapter folks! Hope you like it! :)**

Since Jace had left, I had been restless: I needed to do something so I turned on my computer. I decided to make a list of songs that I thought he would like and after I had finished it, I copied them to a USB stick. Jace had been here for more than two hours. And even though we had only been listening to music and talking about random stuff, it had been one of the most perfect moments of my life. At first I had been doubtful about letting him hear my music. Music is so… personal, and I wasn't sure if I could have handled it if he had demolished my taste… As I thought about Jace, a warm feeling started to glow and swirl around in my body. He had been so gentle and open, and I couldn't help but adore that side of him. If we were surrounded by others, he always reacted cold and arrogantly, but if we were alone… On those moments he made me go all fluffy and cheesy inside and I was completely unarmed to the natural charm that surrounded him. I was so glad I had shared my music with him, because it felt as if we had really connected right then. He had liked a lot of the songs I had played for him and if he didn't like them, he had said it so friendly and respectful that it hadn't been awkward at all. I shivered as I thought of the short moments were our bodies had touched accidentally. Electricity had raced through my veins and it had been really hard to concentrate on anything else than his body that was so close to me...

I laid the USB stick on my nightstand and I walked to my window. As I climbed on the wide windowsill I calmed down automatically. It was my favorite place to sit when I needed to think: I could see the entire garden of the house and in the distance I could see some streets of Brooklyn. I loved to observe the strangers that walked up there and dream up a background story for them. That always helped if I wanted to forget my own troubles for a short while… Because if I was honest to myself, that was exactly what Jace was: trouble. He was getting way too close to me and I was scared that I would blab out something by accident. I knew I had to push him away, but I had no idea how I could do that. Whenever he was near me, I just… I wanted him to stay forever. Because when we were together, it just felt… right. As if it was the exact place I was meant to be.

I looked mindless out of the window when I saw some movement from the corner of my eye. I focused on the person that left the house. Jace… His golden curls gleamed in the sun setting as he walked to the soccer goal on the left side of the garden. He started to shoot at the goal, not aware that I was looking. I didn't mind at all, because that meant I could audaciously stare at him. He wore a grey shirt and a black soccer short that gave me a good view on his strong legs. My look went upwards and followed the supple movements of the tightened muscles of his arms and I sighted loud: he was way out of my league… I knew I had to move away from the window and just … get on with my life. Get some distance of everything that had to do with Jace and just move on. At least that was what by brains said. The rest of my body was too confiscated by that delicious golden creature outside to listen to those stupid rational killjoys.

After a while, he looked up as if he had felt that someone was watching me. I pulled back so quickly that I lost my balance, and I tumbled of the windowsill. I cursed loudly as my elbow hit my nightstand and my ankle twisted painfully. An explosion of pain struck me by lightning. A painful, tingling sting raged through my forearm, and I bit on my lip to prevent myself from crying. I tried to stand up, but a dull pounding in my right ankle warned that had been a very bad idea. The pain faded lightly and my thoughts became clearer. I examined the damage. All in all, it could have been worse. My elbow would be decorated by a large bruise, and my ankle would be sore for a few days, but at least there was no blood… "If you don't leant too much on your ankle the next days, you will be perfectly fine." I tried to calm down myself. Only then, I thought of the reason of my tumble -my own clumsiness disregarded- and my cheeks turned red. I desperately hoped that he hadn't seen me, because I had no idea, how I needed to justify my staring without admitting that I had been kind of a stalker… I leant against my bed and rested my head on my folded knees. "You idiot!" I whispered to myself. "Why do always need to destroy everything for God sake?!" A tear rolled over my cheek as memories flood back unannounced. I curled myself into fetal position on the floor and broke down, letting go of all the devastating emotions that were bashing inside of me.

I had no idea how long I had lain there, but apparently I had fallen asleep after a while, because when I woke up with a start from my nightmare, I saw that dusk began to fall. I stood up difficultly, my entire body aching from my "nap" on the hard wooden floor. I remembered what had happened and I checked my ankle. He was slightly doughy and I cringed a bit when I leant on it. My elbow had already started to turn blue so I put on a sweater that hid the painful bruise. I looked at my phone: 6.24 pm it said, so I decided to go downstairs. We normally ate around half past 6 and all the crying had made me hungry. I looked into the mirror on the back of my door and I sighed. I looked like… well I looked like some lunatic who had slept on the floor... I did my hair in a taut tail and walked out, watching out to lean as little as possible on my right foot. The pain was bearable, which lifted up my spirit a little. At least I would be able to hide my stupidity from the others... When I came downstairs, I helped Maryse a bit in the kitchen with the dinner. She had made scampi's with French fries and even though I wasn't hungry at all, I tried to be enthusiast. I send a text to the others that dinner was ready and soon the kitchen was filled with chatter and laughter. The entire meal, I avoided eye contact with Jace and after the meal I asked Izzy quickly if she wanted to watch a movie with me. She agreed happily and before we left, I allowed myself to take one look at Jace. His face didn't show any emotion at all; apparently he hadn't even noticed that I ignored him… I knew I should have been happy, it was namely better if he didn't cared too much for me, but I couldn't help but feel a little hurt inside as I turned away from Jace and followed Izzy to the living room.

Izzy had chosen "The lucky one", a romantic movie which starred Zac Efron in the leading role of a handsome marine. I tried to focus on the movie and not to think about Jace, and it worked out pretty well until there came some kissing scenes and my thoughts drift off… "How would it be to…?" I wondered silently, but I cut off the thoughts quickly. I knew I needed to stop thinking about things like that, because it would only drive me crazier. I sped off to the kitchen and took some comfort food, which helped me to get through the most romantic parts of the movie.

As the credits were playing, Izzy turned to me and asked "So what dress are you going to wear for Magnus' party next Saturday?" It hadn't been the first thing she had said that evening, but on the other hand we weren't exactly having a real conversation either, so I was a bit surprised by her question. I thought for a moment about it. I had wanted to go to impress Jace, but that was no longer… an option. But if Jace wasn't interested in me, than at least I could have some fun with someone else, right?! I wouldn't back down for one boy! "The red one" I answered determined. "I knew it!" She stated exited while she gave me a huge hug. "I knew it! You don't seem the girl to miss a great party! And some great boys of course!" She winked at me, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Keep the entire Saturday free, will you!" she said, and I looked surprised at her. "The entire day?!" I wondered out loud. "Of course!" She said, almost indignant. And after that, she started to sum up all the things we needed to do before we would be ready for the party. For a moment I thought she was just teasing me, but she was dead serious. That will be a long day, I pondered to myself. But weirdly enough, I didn't feel reluctant at all. Izzy's enthusiasm was apparently some contaminating disease, but I didn't mind at all: some distraction was exactly what I needed right now…

**Please like, review, favorite and all that stuff if you like the story! :) It means a lot you know! Suggestions/Improvements are always welcome too! xxx N.**


	7. Surprises at night

**Sooo another chapter :) Hope you like it guys!**

I threw the sheets of my body and stepped out of my bed, too restless to lay still. I walked to one of my windows and leant against it with my forehead. My gaze turned to the sky, hoping to find some rest in the calming view of the stars. The light pollution of the city made it difficult to see them, but on an ordinary night, I could at least see a few of them. But tonight, I only saw a dark emptiness, outstretched above the city as if the stars were playing hide and seek with the numerous clouds. I turned away from the window and leant against it with my back. A church bell ushered in the distance: one o'clock at night and I was still wide awake… "You shouldn't have slept this afternoon!" I grumbled against myself while my gaze slid around the room for what must have been the umpteenth time that night. And for the umpteenth time that night, it stopped by the USB stick on my nightstand. I had the feeling that that stupid little thing was mocking me, it seemed to scream "What were you thinking you pathetic idiot!". Irritated I grabbed it and flung it in one of my desk drawers before I rushed to my bathroom. Everything in my room reminded me of my time with Jace today, which made me go nearly insane so I just needed to get out for a few hours. Furthermore I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep the following hours, still fully awake because of my nap earlier on the day, so I decided to go for a walk. Hopefully the physical activity would tire me enough, so I could catch at least a few hours of sleep later on the night. I put on a blue pair of shorts and a grey shirt, knowing that the heat of the day would still hung in the air. I grabbed my white strappy sandals and opened my door silently before I stepped into the corridors. I listened for a few seconds, but it sounded like everyone was sound asleep and with a sigh of relief I headed downstairs. I sat down on the bottom of the stairs and put on my shoes before I unlocked the front door. I was about to slip away when a hand from behind me pushed against the door. The door closed with a click and a familiar voice whispered in my ear, causing my body to shiver slightly. "Hey, you weren't planning on sneaking out without me, where you, Red?"

I gasped as I turned around and looked right into the golden eyes that were so familiar to me. "Jace!" I whispered-said. He had been closer that I thought, and I took a step away from him. "Stop giving me heart attacks, you idiot!" I said, but he just laughed his warm, deep laugh I was so fond of and I couldn't help but laugh lightly along with him. "So where are you going, you little rebel?" he asked, a grin still plastered on his face. "Just… out." I answered honestly. I had no idea where I was going, but I just wanted to get out of this house for a few hours. "Don't make a move." He commanded me as he ran away. I hadn't even got time to answer something and surprised I waited until he came back. "You listened…?" He said, and I could hear astonishment and relief in his voice. "I did." I replied, and my voice sounded equally surprised. I took a second look on him and saw he had changed his pajamas for a blue jeans with a white shirt. A jacket lay loosely over his arm as he headed to me. As he stood right in front of me, he ran his arm around my waist. I looked at him and I couldn't help but hold my breath when he came even closer to me. I closed my eyes, aware of every inch of his body. Only then I heard the sound of the door that opened behind my back, and I looked shamefacedly away. God, he had only wanted to open the door, and I had thought that he… that he wanted to… I turned around and got out of the house as fast as I could without running, hoping that he hadn't noticed my stupidity. "Hey Clary! Wait!" he shouted at me and I turned around. "What, Jace?!" I asked, and it came out angrier that I had intended, even though the anger was not directed to him this time. However, he just ignored my irritation. "I'm going with you, you know." he said amused. "It has always been a dream of me to go 'just... out'." He added grinning. I sighed deeply. "Fine!" I agreed, knowing that there was no way to make him change my mind: I was not the only stubborn one in this family. "Don't act like you don't like it." He said, clearly pleased with his own actions. "Every girl, secretly or openly, is dying to take a romantic walk in the moonlight with Jace Lightwood. "Well lucky for me, it's cloudy" I retaliated, before I turned around and headed to the streets of Brooklyn.

Jace POV

I had no idea how she did it… She always managed to catch me by surprise with her witty comments. For the first time in my life, I had found a girl who noticed the real me, and not just my "cocky-bastard-shield". She listened at what I said and was not just interested in my body. Not that I had really cared before, but now I knew how it felt… I loved it how she had her own opinion about everything, how she always argued with me and how she put me on my place when I was arrogant or selfish. I started to run towards her. I had finally found a girl where I wanted to fight for, and I would not let her go. "Hey Clary! Wait!" I screamed. "What?" She said as she turned around. "Already missing me? Or just afraid of the dark?" She grinned. I couldn't help but smirk at her. "Always" I retaliated. "What, the former or the latter? Or both?" I smiled as I said: "Who knows…" and she smiled back, which made the butterflies in my belly make triple somersaults. It seemed like her mood had improved a lot now she had the chance to make fun of me. I still had no idea why she had been ignoring me at dinner, but I wasn't going to ask it either. She was with me now, and she seemed happy, and I wasn't going to ruin the moment. "Where are you going?" I asked curious. She sighted. "No idea" she admitted dazedly as she stood still. I saw a glimpse of something running through her eyes. It seemed like… despair. And I didn't like it at all… I wanted her to smile again, even more: I wanted to be the person who made her smile. "Come on" I said as I grabbed her hand. "What are you doing Jace?" She asked while she tried to pull back her hand. "Trust me" I said, not letting go of her hand. I saw how she doubted for a while, as if she was fighting an inner trouble. "Fine, why not" she gave in. "But you can let go of my hand now you know, I'm not going to run away or so…" "I can never be too careful" I winked as I strengthen my grip a little. Her hand fitted perfectly in mine and I was not planning on letting it go soon.

Clary POV

I felt how I started to blush as he took my hand and I cursed myself in silence for it. Hopefully, he hadn't noticed it, because that would result in an endless stream of jokes about how amazingly handsome he was. And the most irritating was that I couldn't deny it: he was indeed extremely sexy… I looked around as he leaded me through the streets of the city. I loved how the streets where almost empty, though not deserted enough to be eerie or scaring. The soft sound of life that buzzed around the city, together with the soft gleam of the streetlights that burnt holes in the blackness of the night, gave the scenery a fairylike sphere. I looked at Jace, who smiled back as he noticed my gaze. A glimmering appeared in his eyes and I looked away, afraid that I would start blushing again. "Your cold!" he said slightly accusatory. "You should have said it!" He added as he started to take off his leather jacket. "Jace! I'm fine! You don't need to…" He interrupted me. "Of course I need to! Can't let a poor, helpless little girl freeze do death, can I?" he grinned as he gave me the black jacket. "I'm not helpless or little!" I said indignant, though I did thankfully put on the leather coat: It had been colder than I had expected and the heat of Jace's body still hang in the garment. "You're a drama queen, you know?" I retorted and he laughed warmly. "Oh trust me, I know". I loved how I was encircled by Jace's delicious body odor: a manly deodorant combined with vanilla and… sunlight. That may sound crazy, but if sunlight had a smell, it would be like that: delicious, warm, happy and… safe.

I was completely at easy as we walked around in a comfortable silence. I always had been fascinated by the night. I wasn't scared of the dark; it had always been some sort of mysterious secret I wanted to unravel. Even now, when my nights where often dominated by nightmares and lack of sleep, it still amazed me. At night, everything changed, everything appeared different, like you entered another world … The bustle of the city was replaced by a calmer, quieter version and perfectly normal things turned into unknown riddles. Even the people changed: Jace, for example. By daylight he was mostly untouchable and arrogant, like he didn't care about me at all, but at night… then he showed pieces of the real Jace and that one was caring and kind and seemed to understand even the things I didn't say at loud.

"We're here" he stated as he leaded me to the entrance of some sort of diner, hidden in the middle of a row of old, neglected and abandoned townhouses. An old, wooden board above the doorway mentioned that the place was called "The Old Duck". I looked questioning at him but he just smiled and opened the door for me. "Don't judge a book by his cover, Shorty!" He whispered in my ear. "Seriously, Shorty?!" I threw back, but I forgot everything as soon as I entered The Old Duck. At the outside, it seemed like an old decrepit diner, but on the inside it was just… marvelous. And certainly not a tavern… not at all! It was a good old fashion twenties pub that threw you entirely back in time!

The interior was dominated by a long dark wooden bar where a mid-aged man served drinks to the few visitors. He was surrounded by hundreds of different bottles of whisky, scotch and other sorts of alcohol of which I did not even know the name… The place still breathed the glitter and glamour of the days of yesteryear: a lot of gold, polished wood and chandeliers made the place decadent, but in a right way. Decadent as in making you feel like a celebrity, without losing coziness and authenticity. "Wow…" I said silently, more against myself then to Jace. "I know, right?!" He agreed. "Come on!" he said as he carried me to the bar. "Let's take a drink, I promise you that Mister Haunt makes the best cocktails ever!" The guy behind the bar, Mister Haunt I assumed, greeted Jace familial. "The usual?" he asked with a low, rough voice. Apparently Jace was a regular costumer in here… Jace nodded. "And for the lady?" he asked as he turned to me. "I uhmmm… I don't know, I euhm…" I wasn't exactly a specialist in cocktails and I had no idea what I needed to answer. "No panic, young lady, I know exactly what you want!" he said with his calm, friendly voice. "You do?" I asked surprised. He just laughed a blustering laugh before he turned around and grabbed some bottles. He started to make our drinks with routine hand movements. "He knows?" I asked Jace. "Trust him" he nodded. "He knows."

**So, I know there wasn't a lot of action in this chapter and I'm not sure if you will like it or not... :( At least, I hope you did! Please follow, favorite, comment and so on... It gives me inspiration and motivation to continue the story :) BTW: Thanks to everyone who already followed/favorited/reviewed the story, it means the world to me, honestly! xxx N.**


	8. Alcohol and hormones

**I don't own anything! Even though I wish I owned Jace :d**

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Clary's POV

He took my hand and leaded me to a table in the corner of the pub. I couldn't help but throw a suspicious look at the man behind the bar as I stepped away, which resulted in a soft chuckle of Jace. I just ignored his laughter and sat down on one of the chairs, after which he took the seat at my left. A touch of smoke and alcohol surrounded the furniture and characterized the place in a way that no words could ever do. It marked the place as an invisible fingerprint that had accidentally lasted there for years, and it made me wonder about the people who had sat here before me… I imagined an elegant, young woman and an equally classy man in the twenties, conversing while they were smoking cigarettes and drinking cocktails. Don't get me wrong, I'm strongly opposed to smoking these days, but in that era, it just seemed… suitable. My thoughts were drifting, but were cut of abruptly as Mr. Haunt brought us our drinks.

"An Idris Caipirinha for mister Lightwood, and an Alicante Daiquiri for the lady." He said with a smile as he handed us our drinks. I tried to look confidently as I took a nip of my sunset red drink, trying to avoid the expectant looks that both Jace and Mr. Haunt were throwing at me. My eyes widened as an explosion of taste bombarded my taste buds. I had never tasted anything like this before… Imagine how a beautiful summer sunset, watched from the top of a hill would taste and multiply that awesomeness with five: that was how this drink tasted. "So?" Jace asked, unable to hide his curiosity. "Divine…" I brought out with a smile. "I have no idea how you knew it sir, but this was exactly what I needed." I said to Mr. Haunt. He laughed a warm laugh. "Anytime sweetie" he answered, his voice filled with a sort of understanding I couldn't place. "And you can call me Luke" he added, before he went back to his bar. "Oh, that's not fair!" Jace said. "He never even said his first name to me! And you just pass by once, and you're already best mates!" I laughed as I heard his outrage and laughed as I faced him. All of a sudden, the light mood changed as I looked into his eyes. "Thank you for bringing me here." I said, without releasing his gaze. "I know I'm not always pleasant company, and I'm sure I'm not always easy to handle, but I'm really grateful that you didn't give up on me. I don't know if I would do that if I was in your place." I took as sip of my Alicante Daiquiri and looked away, ashamed of my sudden outburst. "Hey." He said as he lifted up my chin. "I would never give up on you, even if you wanted me to. That's what friends do, don't they?" he said with a careful smile. "Are we? … Friends, I mean. Are we… friends?" I asked, unable to extinguish the spark of hope that had started to burn inside me. If we were friends, I could at least be with him, even if it wasn't in the way I really wanted to…

Jace's POV

"Are we? Friends, I mean. Are we… friends?" she asked, her emerald-green eyes peering in mine. Inside my head a storm of emotions whirled around and cold shivers ran down my spines. Man, I wanted a hell lot more than just being friends with her: I needed to control every muscle in my body or I would just bend over and kiss her with all the passion I had inside of me… But I knew that if I did it, I would just scare her away, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen right now. "Jeah." I said. "I think we are, or at least we can try to be…" I looked down at my drink. "At least I wanna try..." I added, so soft that she might not even have heard it. If I couldn't be her lover, than at least I would be the best freaking friend she could ever have! "I wanna try too." She replied quietly, and my heart skipped a beat. "You do?" I asked hopefully after which she nodded seriously." I do" She said shyly. A smile started to spread across my face as I raised my glass. "Then let's toast!" I said cheerful. She lifted her drink up with a smile. "To friends!" She added as we clinked our glasses against each other. "To bést friends" I corrected her. She just rolled her eyes and said "Drama queen!" before we both brought the glasses to our mouths. And we both smiled as the divine liquor caressed our throats.

Clary's POV

2 hours –and a lot more cocktails- later we left the Old Duck, while Mr. Haunt locked the door behind us. We had been his last costumers, and we had decided to leave because we didn't want do bother him. As we walked through the streets Jace laid his arm around my shoulders. I looked up and opened my mouth to protest, but he interrupted me before I could. "Don't ruin the moment Clary." He said with a smile. I thought for a while about that, and I knew he was right, even though I hated to admit that… Friends could do that right? It didn't mean anything… Right? I didn't know if this was a side effect of the alcohol or I just couldn't resist in anymore, but I laid my arm around his waist and shove a bit closer to his body. He just smiled and seemed pretty complacent with the situation. As we were talking about all kinds of things, he took his phone and checked the time. "Quarter to four." He said as he turned to face me. "You're killing my night rest, you know? He said teasingly. "Oh I do?" I said as I came closer to his face. "Yes you do…" he said, his face now only centimeters away. "Well than go to your bed, honey!" I said teasingly as I grabbed his phone and ran away. "In the meantime, I will throw a party with some of you friends, isn't that a good idea, my dear?! I shouted over my shoulder as I streak off. "Come back, you little rat!" he shouted laughingly as he started to run. I looked into his contacts as I raced to a playground to my left. "Maybe with Aline? Or with Kaelie? Or maybe Elisabeth wants to party with me?" I shouted back. I heard his footsteps approach and a few moments later two strong arms surrounded my waist and pulled me back, making us fall onto the grass. At this moment, we were both roaring with laughter and tears of joy were running down my cheeks. "Come on. Give it back!" he said, trying to sound angry but failing miserably. I knew he wasn't mad at all, so I just shook my head. "No way" I answered boldly. "Ok, now you just asked for it!" he threatened while a cheeky smile came across his face. And with that, he started to tickle me. "No!" I shouted out before I burst out in laughter. "No, stop, I surrender!" I brought out dramatically as I threw my hands into the air. He laughed as he took back the cell phone I hold in my hand. "Did you really think you could win?!" He said arrogantly. I gave him a light thumb with my shoulder. "No need to be so cocky, Blondie!" "What? Blondie?! It seems like you are not yet tickled enough!" he said as he started to tickle me again. We struggled playful: as I tried to get out of his grip, he tried to tickle me to dead and somehow we ended up entirely tangled. I lay on top of him and tried to get of him (even the alcohol in my body couldn't deny that this position was not friend-like) but he just strengthened his grip around my waist. I raised my eyebrows in a silent question. He just shrugged his shoulders. "So, how's your day going?" He asked. I couldn't help but laugh: "You're up for some small talk right now?" I asked surprised. " 'Right now' as in 'at this moment' or as in 'in this position'?" He asked cheekily and I shook my head. "Inveterate!" I brought out, though I couldn't hide the blush that spread across my cheeks. I really needed to cool things off, because it felt like every time I looked into his eyes, more and more common sense just disappeared out my body. And his warm hands on my waist weren't really improving the situation… And so I did the first thing that popped into my mind: I pushed my ice-cold fingers against his neck and he shouted out surprised. For a few seconds he loosened his grip on my waist, taken aback by my action. This gave me just enough time to roll of his body and get out of his reach. "What was that for?" he said, his eyes still a bit wider than normal. "Someone needed to be cooled down…" I just explained with a smile, without specifying to which of us I was referring. "You're insane!" he said playful as he stood up and swept off the grass that stuck to his jeans. "Tell me something I don't know!" I replied as we headed to the streets. My heart was still beating way too hard, and I tried to think about anything else than Jace in an attempt to stop the hormones that were running through my body.

After my sprint, my ankle had started to pound again… Seems like that wasn't such a great idea after all… Luckily the alcohol in my body subdued the pain enough so I could still walk without limping too much. All of a sudden, a panic crept into my body: my bruise! How could I be so stupid?! Only then I remembered that I was wearing his jacket. I let out a sigh of relief. With a bit of luck, he hadn't noticed anything… I thought about the night: no, he had never mentioned or referred to anything that was connected to my bruise, so he probably hadn't seen it… I knew Jace well enough to know that he would certainly have asked about it… As we were walking in silence, I was thinking up a way to give Jace his jacket back, without showing him my bruise. Unfortunately, it seemed that I was not exactly good in being subtle, so as we arrived at the house I still hadn't figured out what to do. I stood a few steps lower as Jace as he was opening the front door and decided that I would just return his jacket later on the day. I was looking at the sky, pretty satisfied with my decision as Jace turned around and scraped his throat. "Uhm, Clary, I think I got some bad news…" he stated. "I turned back to him: "What's wrong Jace?" I asked with a smile, assuming that he was just making a joke. "No, I'm serious Clar." he said. "I think we have locked ourselves out: I can't open the door…"

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**So, I tried to have some more action in this chapter, let me know wheter or not I succeeded ;) I don't realy geta lot reactions to my chapters, so I'm doubting what I should do... I mean, if no one really likes my story, maybe I should just stop it? Or change it? or... pfff I don't know what I should do... :( x N.**


	9. Walls to conquer

**Hey guys! I know it has taken a while for me to update this chapter, but I was ill and I wasn't exactly able to produce anything decent :(**

**I really hope you like this chapter... I tried to make it a bit longer, to make up for the late update... :) Besides that: a loving shout out to everyone who reviewed my story, liked or even favorited it - YOU ARE AMAZING and I love you all ;p**

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I looked at his face in silence as the meaning of his words dawned on me. And then, I started laughing… I started laughing like a lunatic, so hard that the tears appeared into the corner of my eyes and I could hardly breathe. Ok, maybe the alcohol hadn't left my body entirely yet, but the situation was just so… ironic. At first, I had been so eager to leave this house for a while, and now that I wanted to enter it again, it seemed like the house just said: "Hell no, bitch!"Nevertheless, the funniest thing was Jace's reaction to my behaviour... He looked thunderstruck at me as if I had just grown another head: his eyes were spread in astonishment and his mouth was slightly opened. It made me think of a fish somehow: wonderful, golden and sexy, but still… a fish. This thought was so hilarious that it made me laugh even harder and I saw how a grin appeared on Jace's face as well. Only a few seconds later, he burst out in laughing too and we just stood there as lunatics and laughed because of our own stupidity. Mental note to myself: never drink more than two Alicante Daiquiri's in the future, you just can't handle the alcohol Clary…

I took us some time to cease our moment of insanity, but after a while, we finally calmed down. "You need to call Izzy." I said, a chuckle still audible in my voice. "No way" he answered determined and I rolled my eyes. "Look, I would call myself, but I forgot my phone in my room. Don't be stubborn or childish and just call your sister or Alex." I said. Not that I was looking forward to explain them everything, hell no, but it seemed that we had no other options.

"No, Clary… I can't call them… I'm sorry, but they may not know about all of this." he said, suddenly serious. It seemed that he was more used to the alcohol than I was… "They cannot know anything about us…" he added sadly as he took a step closer to me. It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. "But how can we be friends if no one may know?" I asked, afraid that everything he had said about us being friends had just been a sick joke. "Or were you just joking about that?!"I asked now a bit firmer. "No! No, Clar, that's not what I mean! I …." He rubbed his hair in despair as he was searching for the right words. "I just mean they can't know anything about this night or the night that I showed you my room… They just wouldn't understand it." I shook my head in confusion as I tried to process everything he was saying. "They wouldn't understand what, Jace?" I asked, confused by the emotions that had resounded in his voice. "They wouldn't understand that it's sometimes easier to talk with you than with them, even though I only know you for a few weeks and I have know them for what feels like forever." he gave out, his voice soft though clear and honest. His words caused a heat in my body to spread through my veins and I felt my cheeks turn red. "We're the same, Clary. We both have problems that have changed our life, I know that, I feel it, even though you don't tell me how or why. Somehow we are incredibly alike, and that feels weird and scary, but at the same time incredibly welcome and reassuring." He paused for a moment. "And now I'm talking way too much, as always when I'm with you." he ended his little outburst with a regretful smile. I saw his chest heave heavily as if he had just ran a marathon. He breathed louder than normal as his eyes searched for mine: they searched for confirmation, for recognition.

And I knew that it was written all over my face, because he had exactly expressed all the thoughts that had been whirling around inside of me, and I knew I couldn't hide it any longer. It had been there all the time, but it had taken me some time to see it… Or maybe I didn't want to see it: it was easier to just ignore it, in that way I didn't need to think about the consequences either… But right now, I couldn't deny it any longer to myself; I had fought against it for too long… There was something between us, something beyond our control that had bound us immediately, from the first moment we had seen each other, and I had no idea what to do about it…

"Ok." I said. "We won't call them… We will find another way to get in…" He smiled relieved and took a step closer to me. "Thanks Red." He said, before he pulled me into a hug. My body stiffened a second before I loosened up: as pieces of a puzzle, our bodies completely complemented each other, as if they were made for each other. For a few seconds I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the moment: friends could do this, right?

After a while I tried to push him away, but he didn't let go of me. He only loosened his grip a bit so he could look as my face as he asked what was wrong. "We need to find a way in Jace!" I said. He just laughed. "Nah, we don't." He said with a cheeky smile. "I quite like our current position, so I don't see the problem." "Jace…" I tried to object but he just pulled me closer to his body. "And I know you do too…" he whispered in my ear. His hot breath against my neck made me dizzy, and startled I took a step back causing our body contact to break. "Don't do that Jace!" I said irascible as I headed to the garden, away from him. "You need to stop all of this Clary! Before this gets out of hand!" I mumbled to myself. "You know it's already too late for that," a voice in my head said, "you're already too much involved…"Oh how I hated that voice! Sure, there was something between me and Jace, but I was nothing more than friendship... Besides, I would not tolerate that is would evolve further than that! Way too dangerous, for both of us...

Jace's POV

I stood there perplexed, my arms still lifted in the air. A few seconds ago I had been hugging the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and now I was hugging thin air like I was some crazy lunatic. Clearly, I had gone too far, pushed her limits too far... again... And I was taken aback by her rejection… again… It's funny how, until a few weeks ago, no one had ever rejected me before. And she, she did it like a hundred times a day, and it still surprised me every time again. I wanted to know why she always rebuffed anything that came close to her, and I knew that I would endure the humiliation of her rejections every time again, until she decided to let me in. I was not a choice I had made knowingly; it was a need that was stronger than everything else: I needed her. I needed her more than a flower needs the sun to grow, more than the threes that need the water to live… I needed her like a drug: my own, personal Clary-shots that helped me get through the days… And that dependency scared me to death …

I made my way to the back of the house and soon I saw her, standing against one of the threes. She seemed caught up in her own thoughts, but as I came closer, she looked up and stared into my eyes. "I have no idea how we can enter Jace, it's impossible! Every door is locked and all the windows are shut…" she said, acting like the former had not happened. I followed her regard that had returned to the house. My eyes slid over the building as well, but they stopped as they met a pair of open windows. "Not all of them are closed" I said as I turned to face her. "Yours are open…" "She sighted. "I know, Einstein, I had noticed that myself, but that the second floor you idiot." "So?" I retaliated. "Afraid miss Fray?" Her face tightened. "Not at all." She answered arrogantly as she stepped to the house. I shook my head as I followed her: I knew she never declined a challenge.

She held halt a few meters before the stone wall and looked up, probably scanning the wall for footholds. She mumbled something, but I couldn't understand it. "Already doubting, miss Fray?" I teased, knowing that I was pushing her to her limits again. I just couldn't help it… She snorted loudly: "Never, Lightwood. I'm not such a pussy as you are." After that she closed the space between her and the wall and started climbing. By the Angel, did I already mention how sexy she was if she was acting so self-confident and arrogant?!

Clary's POV

"Thank God I'm drunk." I mumbled to myself. "Already doubting, miss Fray?" Jace said, and I wondered if he had heard what I had said. I snorted loud and sarcastic. "Never, Lightwood. I'm not such a pussy as you are." I shot back, before I started climbing. In all fairness: I was freaking out, but of course I was too damn stubborn to show it. And if there was anything I was good at, then it was hiding my feelings...at least something of my former life, that was of use… "Come on, Fray, you can do this!" I thought to myself. Luckily, the house was built in a baroque style, so the embellishments made it easier to climb…. "It's just like at school, when you went wall climbing!" "Only the climbing holds are replaced by stone decorations… and well… you're not tied up here…" that familiar voice in my head remarked. A knot started to form inside my stomach, and I breathed a bit too fast. Besides that, the pain in my ankle had only been growing, and every time I leaned on it, a sharp sting passed through my leg. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea in the end... Suddenly a voice sounded from below. "If you fall, I will catch you, you know Red!" Jace shout-whispered. I smiled as I heard his voice: it calmed me down and encouraged me to go further."Huh!" I sniffed, ignoring the pain in my body. "You know, Blondie… I never fall." I said arrogantly after which I started to climb even faster. I did not need his help or his pity, I could do this on my own.

Jace's POV

"Huh!" She sniffed. "You know, Blondie… I never fall." She said, the irritation audible in her voice. I could not help but grin at her witty remark. She was unbelievable! Even if she was hanging on a wall between the first and the second floor without any form of safeguard and I was her only shot if she fell, she retaliated faster as lightning and sharper than a knife. As I saw that she had reached her windowsill, the thick knot in my stomach loosened slowly. I would never admit it, but frankly, I had been pretty worried as she was climbing. I know I had challenged her myself, but at that moment, I hadn't been thinking about the consequences. God, imagine that anything had happened?! I would have hated myself forever! I saw how she turned herself to sit down on the sill, her legs dangling in the empty sky and a self-satisfied smile plastered on her face. I started to climb myself. "Hey what are you doing?" She asked surprised. "Coming up myself, you little idiot!" I answered. "I could also open up the front door for you, you big idiot!" She replied sharply. "Yeah, but then you'll tease me for eternity about the fact that you climbed up that wall, and I didn't." "Hmmmm" she said slowly as if she was thinking about what I said. She started to laugh: "Yeah, you're pretty right…" "I'm always pretty!" I shot back. She rolled her eyes but she was still laughing, so I knew she wasn't really mad. As I had almost reached the windowsill myself, she turned around and entered her room. I pulled myself a little more up before I climbed upon the sill and followed her into the room.

"So, we do end up a lot in bedrooms, don't we?" I said with a grin as I looked at her silhouette in the oncoming light of dawn. She turned around and looked at me, and I noticed that she was slightly out of breath. I got to admit that I was secretly satisfied by the fact that she was, and I I wasn't: I wouldn't like it to be surpassed, certainly not by a girl… Certainly not by her… "Don't even insinuate anything, Jace. Not a chance." She replied fiery as she stepped to her door. "Challenge accepted" I thought, as I chased her quickly. Faster than lightning I grabbed her arm and I turned her around, pushing her against the wall. Our bodies were so close now that I could feel the heat that radiated of her body. The space between us was heavy and overwhelming, filled with expectation and desire. I bent over and brought my lips to her ear, feeling her shiver by my presence. "I don't believe you Clary" I said. "I don't believe that I don't make any chance with you." I had no idea what I was doing, but I had certainly not expected that her presence would act upon me as well: my knees were shaking, and I was breathing faster than normal. "It doesn't matter what you believe Jace," she said shakily, "you need to go. Now." She put her hands against my chest and tried to push me away, and I knew she was right. I did need to go before I lost my self-control and kissed those perfectly formed, blood-red lips of her… I couldn't help but bent over one last time and whisper "Sweet dreams Rebel…" before I walked to the door. I had almost closed the door behind me as I turned around. She hadn't moved a finger. "Oh and Red, don't forget it when you are dreaming about me: I like it rough…" I said with a wink before I closed the door. She had turned flaming red after my words, and as I was walking to my room, I couldn't help but think: "1-0 for Lightwood: beat that Fray!

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**Tell me what you think about it! I love it when I get messages! :) xxx N.**


	10. Texts and rage

**Still don't own mortal instruments :( Guess it's just not meant to be :p**

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I could summarize my Sunday in 3 words: sleep, stress and evasion…

After Jace had left, I expected that it would take me hours to fall asleep. My brains were overproducing the craziest thoughts and the hormones that were racing through my veins, weren't exactly helping either… Luckily I still had enough alcohol in my body to numb me so I soon fell fast asleep. Only, I was still haunted by monsters of the past that turned my dreams into fearful nightmares, causing me to wake up with a start, breathing heavily and covered in sweat of fear.

I knew that a serious amount of sleep deprivation wasn't exactly the best way to start a new school year (I heard that zombie-style was só last year) so I decided to fill my entire Sunday with short naps, interrupted by little panic attacks when I started to think about the next day. I've never liked Mondays in general, but a Monday that included my first day of school in an entire knew place, well that Monday was just doomed…

Over the day, Izzy had made several attempts to spend some time with me, trying to calm me down, but at long last, I was able to convince her that I just needed some time for myself. She promised to make sure that no one would bother me, and I believe she took that task pretty seriously, since I didn't see anybody that day (dinner excluded ofcourse…). It hadn't been my intention, but a positive side effect of Izzy's steadfastness was that I didn't have to face Jace, even though he had tried to talk to me several times. The last time he had tried, I heard Izzy scream so loud against him that I even felt guilty for a moment… Cause, in fact he hadn't done anything wrong… He only confused me… In particular, everything that was going on between us confused me. Since I had met Jace, my life felt like a rollercoaster on the loose, and I needed to slam the brakes before I completely lost track. Just a moment to decide what I needed to do, that's all I needed. Yet I couldn't shake off my feelings of guilt about Jace, so after 10 minutes of doubt, I finally decided to send him an apology. Up till now, he had never treated me unfairly, so I thought that he deserved at least some explanation. I took my phone, and for the first time since he had given his number to me, I sent him a text.

_Sorry for my bit bull, she's pretty devoted to her task..._

_I just need some time to think… Don't take it personal_

_I hope you're not angry :/ See you later _

_C._

I pressed "send" and let myself fall onto my bed. I needed to stop thinking, because it felt like my brain was going to explode, so I took my headphone and pressed play. I put the volume so high that I couldn't even hear my own thoughts anymore, closed my eyes and let myself be carried away by the music that blasted into my ears.

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Jace's POV

I hit the punching bag, again and again and again. My body was covered in sweat, my knuckles were raw despite the protecting boxing gloves, and every inch of my body begged for rest. However, I wasn't planning to stop, pushing my body and my mind to the edge. The only thing that kept me going, was my rage. Towards Izzy, who refused to let me talk to Clary. Towards Clary, who refused to let me close to her. Towards my past, that refused to let me go. And towards my future, that refused to let me live. I struck the punching bag even harder, trying to block out every single thought. Only then, a loud buzz resounded in the room. Heavily breathing, I stopped the punching bag that was swinging back and forth and looked around, finding my phone on the couch. I untied my gloves and throw them on the floor as I looked at the screen. It seemed that I had received a text from an unknown number, but I didn't really paid attention to that fat. It wasn't the first time that some girl had obtained my number via some friends and wanted to catch my attention. I opened the message only loose interested in the content, until I caught the sender of the message: C.

_Sorry for my bit bull, she's pretty devoted to her task..._

_I just need some time to think… Don't take it personal_

_I hope you're not angry :/ See you later _

_C._

I read her text again and again, an idiotic smile plastered on my face: she sent me a text, so at least she wasn't planning on ignoring me forever… Right? "_Don't take it personal_". It seemed like she already knew me too well… I had immediately thought that this was all about me, that I had done or said something wrong and that she was upset about it, but maybe I just needed to put my ego aside for a moment. All of a sudden it struck me as lightning. "_I just need some time to think… _". Of course! I'm such an egocentric bastard! This was about her dad! He had died only six weeks ago, and even though she never talked about it, I knew that his death weighted on her shoulders. Sometimes I caught a flash of utter pain in her eyes, as if the emptiness was destroying her from within… But every time, she hid that look swift as an arrow after that wall of hers, so I was never sure whether this was just my imagination…

I tried to find something to answer to her text, but everything I came up with sounded lame and meaningless. By the angel, it seemed more like a problem of national interest than an answer to a friend! Finally, after more than fifteen minutes of doubting, I eventually found a somewhat fitting answer. I still wasn't sure about it, but I wasn't able to come up with anything better.

_Of course I'm not mad! I get it Clar, don't worry about it._

_Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)_

_BTW do you think your pit bull would let me in if I gave her some fancy clothes?_

_J._

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Clary's POV

I checked my phone almost every minute, waiting for Jace's answer. As the minutes passed by, my unrest continued growing. Maybe he was offended by my temporarily "rejection"? Or maybe he didn't even cared? Finally I received a text, and I took a deep breath and did another week attempt to convince myself that I did not care about his answer. Even though I knew that it was just a last effort to protect myself against the pain in case he didn't want to talk to me again.

_Of course I'm not mad! I get it Clar, don't worry about it._

_Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)_

_BTW do you think your pit bull would let me in if I gave her some fancy clothes?_

_J._

I couldn't believe it! I had kind of treated him like dirt, and he was so … understanding! I silently laughed as I read his joke about Izzy and wondered if he would really try… It sure as hell would give a funny situation, and Izzy would be even angrier than before if he tried to bribe her with some clothes. "_Let me know if you wanna talk or need some distraction ;)". _I couldn't help but notice the double floor in his message… That was so typically Jace!

_Jace Lightwood! I had never expected you to be a briber! Shame on you! ;p_

_And thanks for the offer, but I think that mine and yours definition of "distraction" are somewhat different… _

_C. _

The response came quickly…

_Yeah, you're right, she will knuckle under faster if I kidnap one of her Louboutins… _

_Thanks for the idea Red!_

_And such a shame, you know… I'm pretty sure that you would like my definition…_

_You clearly have no idea what you're missing ;)_

_J._

Jace's POV

_You really should see a doctor Jace. _

_This obsession of yours is not healthy anymore … ;d_

_C._

"This can't be true!" I said to myself as I read the words again. How did she know? Was it so obvious that I was completely crazy about her? I mean, I thought that I had been subtle? I quickly sent a text back, nervous about her anwer…

_And what would be the source of my obsession, according to doctor Clary? _

_J._

The answer came swiftly, making me wonder or she awaited the next message with as much impatience as I did.

_I believe they call him "Blondie"… _

C.

I smiled relieved as I read it. She didn't presume anything… I quickly reread my messages and noticed that I might have deserved that not-so-subtle put-down about my ego. It was strange how she always triggered my jerk-side: she always made me so… nervous… that I couldn't help but make witty and egocentric comments if she talked to me.

_Oh, jeah, that one! I confess! He is indeed completely my type, I'm afraid I can't hide it any longer…_

_Funny, handsome, sporty, sexy… God, he is just delicious! ;)_

_J._

_Go to bed Blondie, you're talking nonsense…_

_C._

_Only if you keep my company! ;)_

_J._

_In your dreams!_

_C._

_Always Clary, always…_

_J._

_Ugh, you're such a pig!_

_C._

_Love you too, honey ;) Sweet dreams :)_

_J._

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**I know this chapter was rather short and rather unexciting :/ But the next chapter will be about their first day of school so… excitement please! :D Hope you still like the story :) I would love it if you gave me your opinion about how you want the story to develop, inspiration is always welcome you know ;p Love you all! xxx N.**


	11. Glances

**So, another chapter for my dear readers ;) Thank you soooo much to everyone that took time to post a review: you have no idea how much it means to me! :D Love you all! The song I mention is Guesstimation by Jesse Ashfield :)**

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An annoying buzz, produced by my phone, told me that it was time to get up. Grunting, I hit the snooze button and stole a few more minutes… After hitting the snooze button a fourth time, I decided they I really got to get up… It was my first day of school, and Izzy would probably kill me if I was late…

I rolled slowly out of bed and landed on the cold hard floor. "Brrr…" I brought out as I grabbed the sheets that lay on my bed and wrapped it around myself before I headed to the bathroom to take a piping hot shower. I put on my music and sang along with Jesse Ashfield's song _Guesstimation_ that blared out of the speakers - I know: speakers in their bathrooms…? The Lightwoods just have too much money… - and after 25 minutes I finally found the willpower to exit the shower. I brushed my hair casually and headed to my walk-in closet. I knew that there was no human on earth that could tame this mess that was called my hair, so I didn't even try it anymore… I picked a jeans and a blue t-shirt and was searching my sneakers when I heard an impatient knock on the door. "Come in" I said as I looked suspiciously at the door that was opened by someone who had way too much energy for this time in the morning. "Clary!" Izzy said joyful as she came in. "Ready for…" she started, but she stopped halfway as she examined my outfit. "Clary!" she said again, this time shocked and disapproving. "I went shopping with you, so that you would look fabulous on your first day of school, and then you wear… this?!" She said as she rushed to my closet. While she was looking through my clothes, she mumbled something that sounded as: "God, if I don't do everything on my own…", but maybe I had just misheard it… She threw a red pair of trousers to me, accompanied with a white top with a little border of lace. "Put this on" she said as she raced back to her own room. I did what she had asked -or even better: what she had commanded- too perplexed by the situation to go against her. Only several minutes later, she was back, in her hands a black leather jacket she swiftly threw to me. I caught it in the nick of time and looked questioning at her. "Trust me" she said, "a first impression is really important, and yours will be fa-bu-lous." I put on the jacket, knowing that there was no other possibility if I wanted to exit the room. The jacket reached down to my waist, and to my biggest regret, I had to admit that I looked better than before she had entered my room. "Come on, you sluggish turtle, or we will be too late for school!" She said with a grin as she grabbed my hand. I just managed to grab my phone before she dragged me downstairs.

In the kitchen I noticed that someone, I assumed Maryse, had gone to the bakery, probably before she went to work: all sorts of breakfast pastries lay on the table, and my stomach rumbled loudly at the sight of all that delicious food. I was going to sit down as Izzy stopped me "No way turtle, we're already late, no bulky breakfast this time…" she said while she took a croissant. I looked disappointed at the table full of food. I loved food, and I hated it if I couldn't eat at ease… "Really?" I asked. She nodded as she took a bite of her croissant and walked to the door. "Come on, the boys are already waiting in the car." I sighted and was going to follow her when all of a sudden, I got an idea. "You can go ahead; I'll be there in a sec." I said as started to search in the kitchen cupboards. "Hmmm, you got that look again… you're up to something!" she said as she turned around. "But I'm just gonna act like I saw nothing, than I can't be an accomplice either…" she added as she walked away. I laughed as I finally found what I searched and quickly prepared everything, before I ran to the car.

"Hi guys" I said as I jumped into the car. I was way too satisfied by my plan to feel awkward around Jace because of yesterday, so I didn't even mind sitting next to him. "Hey Clary" Alec greeted while he started the engine and steered the car of the drive, destination Morgenstern High. "Morning Red" Jace said, with a smile that would have made my knees tremble if I had stood up straight. "Blondie" in nodded back with a slight smile, trying to act unaffected. Right then, Izzy drew my attention. "So what's your vicious plan, Miss Fray?" she asked from the passenger's seat, while she did her make-up. "Vicious plan?" Alec and Jace asked in unison. I laughed. "I promise: no vicious plan from my side! I would never do that!" I said as innocent as possible. But I couldn't help but grin as I opened the picnic basket I had grabbed in the kitchen. "I only thought: if Clary can't come to her breakfast, then the breakfast comes to her!" I said triumphant. "Bon appétit!" I cheered with a fake French accent as I took a bite of one of the many breakfast pastries I had taken from the kitchen. They all started laughing loudly. "What?" I asked indignant. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" Apparently, this was even funnier, because they laughed even harder. "So uhmmmm… Can I offer one of the lads some coffee?" I asked acting like a butler. "Or maybe a croissant for the woman?" "Stop Clary! Mercy!" Izzy screamed, tears of laughter running down her cheeks. "Excuse me Milady" I said as posh as possible. "It's butler James at your service!" At this point, we were all laughing loudly, and for a moment I just forgot my troubles and enjoyed the company of my new family.

I got out the car and looked around, trying to absorb my surroundings. Morgenstern High -by the others often called "The Dungeon" for some reason that was still unknown to me- was an ordinary school… One of which there were probably thousands more: build in different styles because of several extensions over the years, enough students to be taken seriously, but not enough to provide anonymity for those who are longing for it, and probably a living hell because of all the teenage hormones… "So what do you think? Good enough for Milady?" Jace said mockingly. "Yes Sir, I think this will do fine. I appreciate your concern though." He laughed his warm, deep, hoarse laugh that made me faint inside, but was interrupted by someone who called his name. "Got to go… duty calls!" he said with a cocky smile as he turned around and walked to a group of guys that sat on a picnic bench. I saw how several girls checked him out, following every movement with their eyes… And I couldn't give them wrong: he looked unfairly good in his tight black jeans and white shirt… I saw Alec heading to the same group as Jace and turned around to find Izzy leaning against the car and looking around. "Looking for someone?" I asked, both nervous and curious to meet Izzy's friends. "Nah, not really, just checking out if there were some new cute guys to date." I smiled. "And? Already found someone?" "Hmmm not yet… But I'm not a quitter right?" She laughed as she headed to the main entrance of the school. "Come on turtle, time to meet some friends!" she shouted over her shoulder. I saw some people turning their heads to look at us and my head turned read as a tomato. Quickly I followed Izzy, trying to ignore everyone who was staring at me.

As I walked next to Izzy, I saw how people continued throwing glances at us. "Izzy, is there something weird at me?" I asked softly, almost whispering. "What? No of course not Clary, I dressed you remember? I never commit a fashion crime, or do you doubt my judgment?" She answered, almost offended that I doubted her taste in clothes. "Then why are they all staring at us like they want something of us?!" I returned the question. "Are they?" she asked as she looked around her. "Hmmm jeah they may be looking Clary, but they are just watching us, they are not starting a war with us or something!" I looked at her with my mouth wide open, cause all of a sudden I understood it… All the people staring at us as if they wanted something of us, Izzy who didn't even noticed it … They didn't want something of us, they wanted someóne: Izzy. "Oh God Izzy! How could you! Why didn't you tell me?!" I said fiery. She looked at me, confusion written all over her face. "What are you talking about Clary?!" She asked worried. "You're popular!" I said, and I couldn't help but speak out the word as if it was the most disgusting thing I had ever heard. "Well that's just relatively speaking… And even if I was, what's wrong with that?" she said. I shook my head in disbelief. "Everything!" I said fiery. I paused a second but then added softer "All of it…". She looked worriedly at me. "Look Clary, I can't help it if people like me, can I? So if they do and that makes me popular, so be it. Maybe it was different at your former school, but popular doesn't need to be negative you know!" She said gently but firm. She was right: this was different. I needed to keep that in mind: this was different. It wouldn't be like in former times… "Yes, of course, you're right. It's different, I'm sorry…" I said, ashamed of my sudden outburst in front of all these people. "Of course I am… I always am." She said with a smile as she gave me a quick hug. "And now off we go! I'm sure you will love my friends! They're soooo curious to meet you!"

**So tell me what you think! I'm always curious to hear! :p If anyone has tips or ideas for the story: tell me! I'd love to make the story as good as I can, so help is always welcome! :)**


	12. Newbie

**I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while :( This chapter was a hard one to write, and I still got the feeling it isn't very well :/ Hope you guys at least don't hate it :s**

"Guys" I said with a movement of my head as I approached the picnic bench where my friends were hanging around. They all greeted me back, doing handshakes and giving amicable nudges as I made slowly my way to Jordan who sat on top of the picnic bench. Finally I reached the table and climbed on it and shook Jordan's hand too. He was one of my best friends, together with Alec, and I regretted that I had spent so little time with him this summer, knowing that it was mainly my fault... I had been so busy with Clary and with myself, that I had kind of neglected my friends, and I decided that I would spend more time with them the next weeks.

As I was discussing strategies for the new soccer season with Jordan, I heard how the others greeting Alec friendly as he sat down next to me. Alec was one of those people who were liked by everyone… He was just so kind and likable that there was no way to feel uncomfortable around him. Suddenly one of the guys of the team called my name, interrupting the conversation between me, Alec and Jordan... "What?" I asked distracted, my head still filled with 4-3-3, 4-5-1 and 4-4-2 positions. "Who's that hot chick next to your sister?" said Sam with a greedy smile. "Well I certainly want to teach that newbie how we do it here!" added Vincent while he made a suggestive movement with his hips. The other boys laughed at his remark and I forced myself to laugh with them even though I fumed inside. "No idea, I'm not Izzy's babysitter." I said fake annoyed and uninterested. Phuh, that guy could expect an "accidently" ball in his "private parts" the next training… I saw Alec cast a weird glance at me, but I knew that if I reacted now, it would make them even more interested in her then they already were… Hoping that Alec would keep his mouth, I bit on my tongue and cursed Clary internally for being sexier than was good for her. Or even more, than good was for me: she had arrived like 5 minutes ago, and the entire soccer team was already drooling over her! I would get some serious competition…

Izzy walked confidently to a group of girls standing next to one of the huge trees that stood spread across the terrain. A brown-haired girl leant against the tree trunk, her hands absently tearing away little pieces of rough bark. Two other girls stood in front of her, their backs in our direction. From the way how she was using grand hand gestures, I assumed that the blonde one on the right was telling some story to the other ones. The one on the left took her phone out of her handbag and looked around while she was sending a text. Right then, the brown-haired girl who had been leaning against the tree noticed Izzy, and with a high-pitched "Izzy!" she stepped quickly to Izzy and gave her a hug. The other girls gave an enthusiastic squeal too as they hugged Izzy in turn and I couldn't help but smile as I saw how Izzy perfectly fitted into this group…

The girls all had a different type of appearance, from exotic foreigner to blonde cheerleader, but they were all impossibly beautiful. Besides that, their clothes looked like they came right from the catwalk, perfectly fitted and to the latest fashion… and everything, from their attitudes to their language made clear that they were all rich as hell.

Only a few seconds after they had hugged Izzy, they all hugged me and gave me tree kisses on my cheek, telling me how Izzy had told them so much about me and how wonderful it was that we finally met. They all introduced themselves briefly (the tree girl was named Kaelie, the blonde cheerleader Aline and the other brown-haired girl Caroline) before they started to talk about their latest summer events. I tried to follow their conversation, but I didn't know anyone of those where they were talking about, so I just smiled and hummed from time to time while I let my gaze slide over all the people swarming around. I knew that Izzy totally loved her friends, but I couldn't help but hate them immediately. They were just like my former friends from my former life, and I knew that sooner or later, they would break Izzy's heart, just like they had done with me…

It was only when the bell rang, that I realized that I hadn't yet passed by the secretariat. "Shit Izzy!" I said loudly, interrupting the girls' conversation rather rude. "What?" she asked, clearly confused by mu sudden shout-out. "We needed to go to the se-"I started, but my sentence was finished by Izzy herself. "The secretariat! Damned!" she said as she grabbed my hand and started to run with me. "See you later!" we shouted to Kaelie, Aline and Caroline who still stood next to the tree, confused by our sudden haste. We ran through the school halls, me following Izzy who turned -in my eyes completely randomly- left and right. I had the feeling that I would never find my way here on my own thanks to my horrid orientation ability…

Finally we arrived at the secretariat, only seconds before the bell rang another time. Slightly out of breath we talked for a moment to the secretary, who heartily gave me the necessary papers. A few minutes later we were back into the hallways, where more and more students entered their different classrooms, making the corridors emptier and emptier.

The other students had already received their timetables a few days earlier, so Izzy thumbed quickly through my papers and compared my timetable with hers. "Jes! Just as I thought! We have almost all our classes together." she said with a cheerful smile while she guided me through the corridors again. I smiled back, happy that she was so enthusiastic about it. Of course, I was incredibly relieved that both of us would have a lot of classes together, she was not only my best, but also my only real friend in here! And even though we had spent a lot time the last few weeks, I hadn't been sure if Izzy wanted to be with me too, since she often hid her feelings of affection … "Milady," she said before she knocked on one of the class doors, "ready for some action?"

As we entered the class, a man at the end of his fifties was taking the presences. While we walked in, he looked up from above his glasses, blue eyes peering into ours. A frown appeared as he saw us stand before his desk. "And what is your excuse for being late, young ladies?" he said with a worn, severe voice. "Well sir, we're really sorry, but Clary needed to pick up some papers at the secretariat. And since she's new here at school, I offered to accompany her on her way." Izzy said with an innocent smile, her voice a mixture of (fake) guilt and good intentions. I would have stand there with my mouth wide open, if I hadn't been able to hold myself in at the last moment: that wouldn't exactly improve Izzy's credibility... "Well… in that case, I suppose I can make an exception." He said friendly. "All in all, it's the first day of school, right?" he winked… cheeky?! "Thank you sir" Izzy and me answered in unison. "No, thank you, Izzy, for giving…", he quickly checked my papers for my name, "Miss Fray such a warm welcome. That was very generous of you." he said before he went back to his attendance list. "Oh, and Clarissa…", he said looking back up, "Welcome at Morgenstern High. I am sure you will make some great memories in here." "Thank you sir. I think so too!" I said politely before Izzy and I searched a place next to each other in the back of the class. We couldn't stop giggling as we made jokes about how he had winked at us, and soon my abs hurt from laughing.

The first lasses passed without any events. Most of the teachers just talked about what they were going to do for the rest of the years, talked about what we needed etc… In most of the classes I was always accompanied by Izzy and either one of her friends, so at least I didn't need to panic about being completely alone. Kaelie, Aline and Caroline were all very nice so I tried to shake off the negative vibe I had around them, which only succeeded partially…

At my last class of the forenoon, mathematics, none of my "friends" were in my class, which made me incredibly nervous. I looked around the class and noticed a brown-haired girl in the back of the class who seemed really nice and hoped that she wouldn't mind if I sat down her. When I asked it, she seemed kind of surprised, but she answered that she absolutely didn't mind, so I shyly sat down next to her. One I sat down, she introduced herself as Maia, and there was something about her that made me like her instantly. "I'm Clary, I'm new here." I said with a smile, hoping that that explanation would make it less weird that I sat next to her even though she didn't knew me at all. "Oh I know you," she said with a smile, "half the school is talking about you!" I felt my eyes widen. "Uhm what?! No I don't think so, I only arrived today… you're probably taking me for someone else…" I said confused. She laughed with a slight sarcastic undertone. "I don't think there has arrived another girl today who has the name Clary too and who is coincidentally also friends with the most popular people of the school…" I blushed heavily as I heard what she said, and I cursed Izzy inside for being so damn popular. Staying unnoticed apparently would be harder than I thought... "If it helps, that I'm talking with them, doesn't mean I like them you know" I said, immediately regretting my "confession". God I didn't even knew this girl for more than 5 minutes and I was already telling personal things to her! "I already assumed that…" she said with a soft smile as she turned to the blackboard cause the teacher had just walked in, "you're too nice for that…"

**Soooooo what do you think? (I'm always a little terrified if I ask that question even though I love you all, no matter what you say :p) So I know there hasn't been a lot of Clace lately, but I'm working on it guys, I'm working on it :p xxx N.**


	13. Tension

**Disclaimer: I still don't own any of the personages of The Mortal Instruments :( The only thing I own are the storylines of this story :)**

I couldn't wait any longer, I just couldn't. I hadn't talked at her since Saturday evening -or night, more precisely- and I really needed to have a talk with her… now. I searched through the crowd that was heading outside, trying to capture the last sunrays before winter would start.

Every time I had passed Clary in the hallways, my heart had skipped a beat, but she had never tried to talk to me. The little smiles or slight head nods were the only things that gave away that she had even noticed me, and it just drove me insane. In her texts, she may had said that everything of Sunday had nothing to do with me, but I needed to hear it from her own mouth before I would really believe it. So now I was searching that mouth… that delicious, perfectly formed mouth of her, so it could release me of all my worries.

And then I saw her… She walked into the middle of the stream of students who were getting outside, and was talking to a brown-haired girl who walked next to her. I didn't know her very well, only knew that her name was Maggie or something like that, but I smiled as I saw how they were both laughing. It seemed like they were both having a good time, but that didn't surprised me much. Up till know, I hadn't met anyone who didn't like Clary: she always seemed to find the right words to twist everyone around her little finger… including me.

"Clary!" I shouted at her as I made my way to her, paving my way against the stream. I had figured out that soon enough my friends would find out that I did knew Clary, that she even lived at my house, so I didn't care about anyone seeing us together. I was almost in front of her when she noticed me and as I stopped walking, I made my world-famous smirk, expecting her to smile back and come to me. But then again, it was Clary where I was talking about, so I probably should have expected that she would do the exact opposite…

She stopped walking herself and said something against Maggie or whatever that girl's name was, while she made some gestures towards me and towards a picnic bench. It almost looked like they were having a little argument but then they finally split ways. She looked a little hesitantly as she made her way to me.

"What's wrong Jace? Why did you need me?" she asked, a slight frown visible between her eyes. I couldn't help but see how adorable she looked with that, but I tried to focus. "We need to talk Clary" I said, my voice less confident than I wanted it to be. "About what?" she said, making a weak attempt to avoid the matter. "You know about what." I retorted quickly, a hundred percent sure that she knew where I was talking about. She sighed as she looked around her and started to walk, probably assuming me to follow. Slightly offended that she wasn't the slightest bit eager to talk to me, I followed her to one of the big trees on the terrain. She acted weirdly, as if she was… hiding or something like that. She turned around and I took a step closer, closing the enormous space between us. Now our heads were almost touching, but she didn't backed away. I looked at her with a meaningful look: I wouldn't go away until she talked to me. "Fine!" she said finally, as she rolled her eyes. "Fine! I will talk to you… But not here, at home…" I smiled… I could live with that option. "Fine." I answered. "When?" I asked, whereupon she rolled her eyes again. "At 6 o'clock precisely captain!" She said mockingly as she made a military salute with her hand. "Are we good now?" She said ironically. "Perfect!" I said back, ignoring her irony. "Great!" she said, the sarcasm now clearly audible in her voice as she started to walk away from me. And then I did it… I couldn't help it, if she was like that to me, I just couldn't help but try to piss her of even more. I quickly caught up with her. "We hadn't said goodbye yet" I said, after which I bent towards her and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She immediately reddened and after a few seconds of astonishment, she shouted my name angrily. Luckily for me, I was already walking away, not risking to get slapped by her if I stayed close to her right now…

Clary's POV

"Fucking asshole!" I mumbled under my breath as I turned away from him and stamped furiously to Maia. Or at least I tried to be furious, even though my body was still filled with pleasurable tingles. It was unbelievable how his presence influenced me! Blood was racing through my veins, my skin tingled at every place that he had touched, and in his presence I felt more alive than at any other moment of the day.

I reached the table were Maia was sitting and she grinned as I sat down next to her. "What?!" I asked, trying to act as if nothing had happened just now. "I was wrong…" she said with a smile, and I looked in surprise to her. "About what?" I asked slightly timorous. "I was wrong when I said that half the school is talking about you… I'm pretty sure that right now, the entire school is talking…" I was startled by what she said, even though I had already knew it somewhere, right from the moment he gave me that kiss. You couldn't just do something like that with someone popular without anyone noticing. Ugh, I hated popular people… I looked subtle around me (or at least I tried to be subtle about it) and I noticed that Maia was totally right… again. A lot of people wear staring -not so subtle- at us and whispering to each other, and I was pretty sure that they weren't talking about my fashionable clothes…

Only then, Izzy and her friends reached our table, ending our conversation provisionally. Izzy had promised that she would sit next to me in the midday so that I certainly wouldn't be alone, and I saw that she was elated that I already had made a new friend. I introduced Maia to them, and was glad that she had stayed even though she didn't like Izzy's group. Don't get me wrong, I totally loved Izzy, but I just didn't trust her friends...

As the rest of the day proceeded, I couldn't stop thinking about Jace… I had no idea what I needed to say to him, and I was afraid that he would ask way too many questions… Finally school was over, so I said goodbye to Maia and left the school with Caroline in an uncomfortable silence. Alec and Jace would stay a bit longer because they already had a training for the soccer team and Aline, Kaelie and Izzy had already left –in the brand-new Mercedes of Kaelie- cause they wanted to go shopping. Caroline had some appointment she couldn't reschedule and I wasn't really in the mood for even more shopping that I had already done with Izzy, so Caroline offered to drop me off at home. I asked Caroline something about her hobby (she had mentioned that she loved horseback riding) intending to start some conversation in which I luckily succeeded. It appeared that Caroline was a smooth talker which made the car ride way more enjoyable than I had expected. As she dropped me off, I decided that I liked her more than the other two girls. In some way, she didn't seem as… fake as Aline and Kaelie were…

God, this was just terrible! Ever since I had come home, I had been incredibly nervous… I had been eating… a lot, I had taken a long hot shower and had tried to sing a few songs to clear my mind, but nothing could put Jace out of my mind… Every time again his adorable, knees-shaking smile and his magnificent eyes reappeared in my mind, making me completely insane. How could one boy take possession of every single thought?! I lay on my bed, refusing to meet him earlier even though the waiting was just nerve wracking… I knew that if I went to his room right now, he would be making numerous remarks about how I couldn't miss him, and I refused to give him that satisfaction … So now I was counting the minutes until it would be six o'clock, because even though I was scared of what could possibly happen, I just wanted to see him.

I sighted: still 23 minutes to go… I went to the mirror in my bathroom and looked narrowly at my reflection. This was certainly open for some improvement… I ran to my closet, happily that I finally had some goal to keep me busy for the next 23 minutes. I picked out a black short with a white tank top and putted a denim shirt on top of that, trying to create a nonchalant look (because I was totally nonchalant about this whole thing, right?!). Back in the bathroom I made a braid in my hair, trying to tame my curls a bit, before I went back to my bed. I sat down on the edge of my bed, trying to ignore the knot in my stomach that was getting bigger and bigger. I finally allowed myself to throw a glance at my clock radio: 5.56. I sighted deeply…

Ok, I couldn't hold it any longer! It was 6.03 and he still wasn't here! Had he forgotten about it? Or was he just playing a game with me? I was walking around and trying to make a decision about what I needed to do. Go to his room? Act like I had forgotten about it too? Text him? Grrrr why could that fucking douche bag not just be here in time?! Apparently I was so unimportant for Lightwood that he even forgot me! Well, I would show him that I would not just take that! I quickly left my room, striking my door loudly.

I didn't even knock on his door, too irritated to show any form of politeness. I remembered Izzy's warning to never open Jace's door without his permission, but I wasn't afraid of him and I couldn't care less. I just opened his door and went in, ready to yell to him… a lot. "Jac-" I started angrily before I shut up abruptly. Jace stood in the doorway of what I supposed was his bathroom, only wearing a towel that was loosely wrapped around his waist.

**Soooo cliffhanger! :D Well guys, I hoped you liked this chapter! :) but… I got a very important question for you guys. In the next chapter, there's gonna be Clace… a lot of Clace :p , but I'm not sure how far I would go yet… Let me know what you think that should happen!**


	14. (un)visible injuries

**Aaaaaah next chapter :) :) :) I tried to upload it as soon as possible, cause I though it would be kind of mean to keep you in suspense for a long time :p ****I hope you like it! :) and now, without further ado.. THE NEXT CHAPTER BABYYYY :)**

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Clary's POV

"What the fuck Clary?! What are you doing here?" he said, the anger clearly audible in his voice. "How dare you enter my room without permission?!" I almost detonated as I heard those words… "Don't you dare being mad at me! If you hadn't forgotten about me then I wouldn't stand here now, would I?!" I shouted back. For a few seconds it remained silent, the quietness louder than ever after my outcry. "Forgotten?" he asked puzzled, slightly taken aback by my outburst. "I didn't forget anything! I'm not la-" he started defending himself as he turned around and looked at the clock above his desk, but his voice faded away as he noticed the time.

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Jace's POV

"6.12…" I mumbled against myself. For God's sake Jace! Why did you always ruin everything?! "You forgot me…" she said again, but this time, her voice wasn't filled with anger… It was filled with disappointment, which was even worse. "Clary, I swear I didn't!" I said as I turned back to her. "The training had run out, so I only was here at a quarter to six. And I just wanted to take a quick shower before I got to you, cause I was totally sweaty and smutty an-". "It's fine, Jace" she interrupted me, and even though she acted unapproachable, I could see the sadness in her eyes. "So uhm, I'm just gonna… I mean euhm, I got to euhm… do something…" she said while she waved vaguely with her hand in the doors direction. She cleared her throat uneasy and turned away from me, stepping quickly to the door. "Clary! No, wait!" I said, as I ran after her and grabbed her wrist. God, how could I convince her that I hadn't forgotten about her, without admitting her that she was literally always in my head? God, it just impossible to forget her, I wouldn't even be able to do it if I wanted to…

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Clary's POV

As I turned away from him, I kept saying to myself that it was better like this, that we were both better off. I repeated it again and again, hoping that if I said it enough times to myself, my heart would finally believe it too. But then he grabbed my wrist, and my brains shut up abruptly. I felt how my heart filled itself with hope as I turned around and faced him: hope that I do was of some importance for him. Afraid of another rejection, I did not dare to look into his eyes, so I looked downwards. But maybe that wasn't a good idea either, since my eyes were now focused on his bare chest that was only inches away from me. I saw how his muscular chest went up and down hastily, and as I followed his abs with my eyes, I tried to ignore the fact that the only thing he was wearing was a towel. "I know you are mesmerized by my godly body, but would you please look up at me Clary?" Jace said softly, and I knew he tried to make me laugh to alleviate the tension that hung between us. Nevertheless, he couldn't hide the worry in his voice entirely. I looked up at his eyes and a shiver went down my spine. "Clary, I swear on my parent's grave, that I would never ever forget about you. You're way too important for me." he said as his big golden eyes connected with mine. It was the first time he had ever talked about his parents to me, and I knew that this promise was serious. And besides that, Izzy once had told me that Jace was one of the most honest -and by that also one of the rudest- people she had ever met. "I am?" I asked timidly, still not completely convinced. "Yeah." he just said with that smile that made my knees tremble, and I felt how my lips curled automatically into a smile. "And I'm sorry too…" I admitted reluctantly. "I might have overreacted a bit…" I said guilty. He laughed loudly, a mixture of relief and joy, and when he finally answered, I could still hear a chuckle in his voice. "Welcome to the dark side Red… the side of the drama queens!"

As he came closer, I pushed him quickly away, trying to ignore how good his strong hot chest felt under my hands. He looked in confusion at me, and his eyes asked what was wrong. "I'm not giving you a hug until you put some clothes on!" I said laughingly. "Is that a challenge?!" he said with a cheeky smile. "Don't you dare Jace!" I said warningly, but I knew it was too late. I started running, but of course I wasn't fast enough... Before I had taken a few steps he had already reached me, and curled his hands around my waist. Only a few seconds later, I lay on his shoulder while he was walking around with me. He was pretty much dying from laughter, his body shaking heavily. "Jace! Put me down!" I said, trying to sound stern, but I couldn't retain the laughter in my voice. I shivered slightly, but it wasn't caused by angst, even though I was dangling up in the air: his strong arms around me made me feel as safe as I would have been when I stood on the floor. No, the shiver was caused by the heat that radiated of his bare skin, right through my top onto my own skin…

"Jace Lightwood! Put me down! Immediately!" I said while I tried to hit him on his back. "And put some clothes on too!" I added. "Only if you ask it nicely, Red." He said with a mischievous smile. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. "Jace Lightwood, would you please do me the favor of putting me down onto the floor? And would you please put on some clothing?" I could practically hear him grin at his victory: "Of course Miss Fray, anything for you my dear!" he said with a laugh as he slowly put me down, his body way too close to mine. I produced some weird little smile as I stepped away from him and walked to his bay window. I heard how he stepped to the bathroom and I felt how my nerves unclenched slightly. I had no idea how much longer I would have been able to keep myself of doing things with Jace where I shouldn't even be thinking about… "Oh and Clary…" Jace said, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "Don't think I didn't notice how you couldn't keep your eyes of me!" he smiled arrogantly. At that, he closed the door and I turned back to the window. I felt how me cheeks reddened, and I really hoped that he was just teasing me… Guess I hadn't been so subtle after all…

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"Hey" he said as he threw his arms around me from behind. I couldn't help but flinch a little: I wasn't used to physical contact, but for Jace it seemed something natural. "Are you finally dressed?" I asked, trying to control the tremble of my voice. Laughter rumbled from deep in his chest. "Yes, I am." he answered as he sat down next to me, his back leaning against the window. "Where are you looking at?" he asked curiously. I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing…. Everything…" He laughed at my answer, and I looked falsely angrily at him. "Seems interesting..." I gave him a slight nudge with my elbow, but flinched as me bruise hit his ribcage. I tried yet to hide it from him, but naturally his observant eyes had already took it in. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately, his eyes filled with concern. "Oh, it's nothing, I'm fine." I tried to brush it aside, but of course Jace did not let him be put off. "Sure… you were just cringing for fun." He said sarcastically as he took my elbow in his hands. "May I?" he asked gently. I shrugged my shoulders as an answer, and slowly he rolled the sleeve of my shirt up. Somehow, this seemed even more intimate than everything that had happened a few minutes ago…

I knew the exact moment when he saw my bruise, even though I didn't wanted to look at him. I felt how his body stiffened and his grip on my arm tightened. "Jace, this totally isn't what it looks like, I ju-" I started, knowing that he would interpret it completely wrong. But of course, he wasn't listening to me, and I nearly heard his teeth grinding. "Who… Who did this to you Clary? I'll…I'll kill him." he brought out, his look murderous. "Jace, would you please calm down for a moment?" I asked urging, but I had the feeling he wasn't really listening to me… "Jace!" I said again, a bit louder now, as I carefully laid my hand on the hand that was holding my arm. This time he did look up, his eyes filled with… ancient sorrow. "Jace, I'm fine. Nobody touched me… I just fell and bumped my elbow." I saw how the old memories pulled away of his mind, as he finally really looked at me. "Do you swear?" he asked seriously. "I do Jace." I said, with all the honesty I had in me, and I saw how these words freed him of whatever was afflicting his mind. His shoulders unbent slowly and the grip on my arm loosened up. "Are you all right?" I asked worried as I tried to capture his regard. On moments like this, I realized that I wasn't the only one with troubles, and I felt a twinge go through me as I realized how selfish I had been the last days… "Jeah, perfectly fine" he said with a smile, but I saw how forced and fake it was. "So how did you get it?" he asked, nodding to my arm, clearly trying to divert the attention to something else but him. "I…" I coughed ashamed, trying to win some time. At first I doubted whether or not I would tell him the truth, knowing that he would definitely laugh with me, but then again he could definitely use something to lighten up his spirit a bit. And if I needed to make a fool of myself for that, well than I would make a fool of myself... for him. "I fell off my windowsill… onto my night standard." I said with a slightly awkward smile, noticing how dumb that must have sounded to him. He produced a slight chuckle, and I saw how the little sparks in his eyes slowly returned. "That sight must have been…" "Hilarious?" I finished his sentence, not really surprised that he was mocking me. "I was going to say painful, but yours is better." He said, a real smile finally lighting up his face.

"And your hands?" I asked, unable to stop my own curiosity. Already this morning, I had noticed that is knuckles were rough, the skin clearly damaged by something or someone. "I could have expected that you would notice it" he said laughingly. "I notice everything!" I replied. "I believe they have a term for that, they call it obsessed." He said, his expression full of satisfaction by his witty comment. "You know what…", I retaliated, "acting like a smart-ass really doesn't suit you!" He smiled and came closer to me: "Everything suits me." he said, the arrogance now literally dripping of his face. "And you are avoiding my question!'" I said, ignoring his last words. His smile held a little regret as he noticed that his diversion hadn't worked out as he planned. "I accidently bumped against a punching bag…" he said smilingly, and I rolled with my eyes. "Oh really, a punching bag just came up out the middle of nowhere and bumped against your hand?" I said sarcastically. "Ok, you can scrape the 'accidentally', but there do was a punching bag involved." he said with a smile whence I couldn't say was honest or just mockingly… I just raised both my eyebrows -as I was incapable of raising only one- expressing my disbelief. "If you don't believe me, then I'll show you…" he said, as he grabbed my hand and leaded me away of the window, his smile way to cheeky in my opinion.

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**So I really hoped you liked the chapter, I put a lot of work in it :D Please review and like and favorite, that would mean a lot to me :p ok no that would mean EVERYTHING to me :) love you all, N. xxx**


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